IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

IT IS BETTER FOR CHILDREN TO STUDY FROM HOME RATHER THAN GOING TO SCHOOL. DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE WITH THIS STATEMENT ?

#children #study #home #school
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Some individuals believe that studying from home is better than attending
school
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 directly for
children
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 . From my perspective , some say it is better to study at home
due to
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its
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the
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 flexibility of modern technology
while
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 I completely disagree with
this
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 statement because going to
school
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 provides
students
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more
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with more
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 social
skills
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 and increases student’s concentration
To begin
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 , the main reason for
this
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 statement is that
students
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 can develop more communication
skills
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 and become confident
due to
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 going to
Correct article usage
an educationcal
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educationcal
Correct your spelling
educational
 institution . By way of
explaination
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explanation
,
school
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 is a miniature society where
children
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 can connect with
orthers
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others
,
gain
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and gain
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 many soft
skills
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 and confidence.
For instance
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 , after covid’s social distancing
students
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 in Viet Nam became more sensitive
due to
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 their lack of
school
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 approach . Another salient point is that online lectures make
children
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be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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less concentrated owing to the attraction to entertainment apps when they connect to the internet.
In addition
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 , there is now social media is the most attractive to teenagers
as
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because of
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 its suitable content .
There fore
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Therefore
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, many
students
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 were giving their
direction
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directions
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 on entertainment apps
while
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teacher
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the teacher
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 was teaching . As a
results
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result
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, it is difficult for
children
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 to have
a
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apply
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complete progress of study when they
are not actually learn
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are not actually learning
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. In conclusion , studying
to
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at
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Use synonyms
school
Add an article
the school
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 directly to gain knowledge is better in
advance
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advancing
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 student’s social
skills
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 .
In particular
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 , attending
school
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 provides
children
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Add the preposition
with an
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an
Correct article usage
the
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 ability
of concentrated
Change preposition
to concentrate
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thinking
Change preposition
on thinking
show examples
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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