IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year.

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year.
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The table illustrates the amount of
time
Use synonyms
 spent on various activities by people who are not currently working in the previous year.
Overall
Linking Words
, we can identify that both
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 prefer to partake in activities that are productive in the morning,
whereas
Linking Words
 the afternoon is spent for recreational, leisure and stimulating purposes.
Women
Use synonyms
 spent most of their
time
Use synonyms
 doing housework,shopping and job hunting,
whereas
Linking Words
 almost half of the
women
Use synonyms
 would dedicate
time
Use synonyms
 to cleaning their houses.
In contrast
Linking Words
, their male counterparts would spend only a fifth of their
time
Use synonyms
 towards household chores.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 both
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 preference to do activities and leisure in the afternoon.
Men
Use synonyms
 ,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, like to be active by making improvements in the house.
For instance
Linking Words
, 13% of
men
Use synonyms
 do some gardening work in the afternoon, in comparison to the 3% of the other gender. There is
also
Linking Words
 a 5% increase in decoration in
men
Use synonyms

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, men, women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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