IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Prison is an effective punishment for people who break the law. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The majority of
people
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 think that
prison
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 is an effective
punishment
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 for residents who violate the
law
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. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement, and in
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss
punishment
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 facts.
To begin
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 with,
punishment
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 has existed since early times, but in the past, it was tougher than it is now because earlier there were no prisons, and
people
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 judged each other, leading to different punishments, and it was the right decision at the time.
For example
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, hands were cut off, ears were cut off, and these scars remained, so
Correct article usage
the comunity
show examples
comunity
Correct your spelling
community
 feared attacking others and going against the
law
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. But eventually, they began to build prisons, which have nowadays become popular.
However
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,
people
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 now break the
law
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 more because if they break the
law
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, the government issues a fine, and if a shotgun is involved, they are put in
prison
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.
Furthermore
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,
people
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 are not afraid to act or go against the
laws
Fix the agreement mistake
law
show examples
 because
prison
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 has turned out to be a good situation for them; they are just put in, and the person serves their sentence, but in some cases,
people
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 sometimes solve these problems with money, which really influences other
humans'
Check wording
people's
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 lives. If
people
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 break a
law
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, they can do it a second and a third time, and because of
this
Linking Words
, they are going to
prison
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.
In addition
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, in our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
, there are
people
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 who are not afraid of
punishment
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 at all because they have nothing to lose and they do not care.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I want to say that each person should be punished if they commit a crime and should think about their mistakes. Laws were created for a reason, and they should not be broken.

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task response
State your view at the start and give 3 clear reasons with simple proof for each.
coherence cohesion
Make a simple plan before you write. Keep to one main idea per paragraph and use short links to show how ideas go together.
task response
The writer shows a clear view on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Some ideas about punishment in old and past times show a past view of rules.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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