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Obesity is a major problem especially for children. What are the causes and the possible solutions.

#obesity #children
Obesity is a major concern affecting numerous
children
 today, given the significant rise in overweight individuals among them. There are several factors contributing to
this
 issue, and some potential solutions need to be considered to address its drawbacks. Obesity
ismust
Correct your spelling
must
is must
 be hazardous to our
human’s
Change noun form
human
show examples
 health , especially for
children
. that It may lead to several diseases, including heart-attack cases. In recent times,
children
 have not controlled their
food
 portions and consume so much
junk
food
 almost every day.
For instance
, they consume unhealthy
food
 three times a day just because of its taste and fast servings. They were never concerned about the risk of
junk
food
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their health and of course their
body
 shape.
Furthermore
, if those foods are consumed frequently, it will increase our fats and make our
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
 unhealthy because it can block our blood circulation and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
may lead to heart-attack diseases. Actually,
this
 issue can be prevented by their
parents
 and government actions.
Parents
 play a big role in controlling their
children
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 choosing their
food
 and
also
 prevent them from eating
junk
food
 frequently.
In addition
,
children
 must be encouraged by their
parents
 to do regular exercise every day for burning their fats,
calories
Correct word choice
and calories
show examples
while
also
 maintaining their
body
 fit.
On the other hand
, the government must take action for these overweight issues.
For instance
, making some restrictions or laws to all overweight
children
 in their region for consuming
junk
food
, and
also
 give them knowledge about the importance of maintaining our
body
 health. In conclusion, Obesity is one of the problems that must be
concerned
Verb problem
considered
show examples
 and solved together. Not only
parents
 who take
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
show examples
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
 case, but
also
 the government should take
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
part in these cases. So, the point is that we must keep our
body
 fit and maintain our
body
 shape well just as for our goals to be a healthy person.
Submitted by rizalestari on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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