Do you agree that individuals are responsible for their own happiness or it depends on the factors of the person's life?

#individuals #happiness #factors #person #life

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There are many

things

Use synonyms

that are responsible for making

someone

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happy. Some say that individuals are taking full responsibility for their own happiness,

while

Linking Words

some say that it depends on external factors of

ones'

Change noun form

one's

show examples

lives

Fix the agreement mistake

life

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. I agree that happiness comes when

someone

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is capable of controlling their own feelings.

In addition

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, our behaviour towards

others

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is able to create chain reactions that determine our own emotions.

First,

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as human beings, we can create our own joy by perceiving good

things

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in everything. Anger, the opposite of joyfulness, is created when we feel something

that is

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mean, harsh, or painful.

For example

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, if

someone

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is off-putting towards us, we can avoid getting mad by seeing it as a joke and not taking it seriously,

hence

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, we are able to keep our feelings together and keep going

Change preposition

until

show examples

the end of the day. In short, we have to have the capability of controlling our own

mind

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minds

show examples

and ignoring

things

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that are not our business,

thus

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, we will

be feeling

Wrong verb form

feel

show examples

good throughout our

life

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lives

show examples

Second,

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our behaviour towards our friends, family, colleagues, and

others

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is one of the most influencing factors that affect their responses. In order to be happy, we

also

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have to treat

others

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properly, because the action that we do is going to determine their reaction.

For instance

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, if we treat

someone

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respectfully and humbly, people will react kindly and sincerely because they know they are respected.

To conclude

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, one should act friendly towards each other since other's responses are responsible for our own happiness.

To sum up

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, I agree that, all of the time, all kinds of emotions come from ourselves. We ought to be more sensitive to good

things

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than bad

things

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moreover

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, before hoping to be treated well, being sincere and soft towards

others

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must be done in the first place.

Submitted by twiggseducationbdg on Wed Aug 30 2023

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

304 words

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Do you agree that individuals are responsible for their own happiness or it depends on the factors of the person's life?

Some people say in orther to prevent illness and disease,governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Art is considered an important part of society as well as an expression of its culture .Do you think it is important for children to be taught art?Do you think children should be encouraged to focus on arts rather than other subject .

Some people think that the money used to preserve historic buildings and artefacts should came from goverment funds, while others believe that private organisations and individuals should pay for this. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some parents and teachers think that children’s behavior should be strictly controlled. While some think that children should be free to behave. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that supermarkets and manufacturers have a responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging on products they sell. Others believe that it is the consumer’s responsibility to avoid buying products which have a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinions