Do you agree that individuals are responsible for their own happiness or it depends on the factors of the person's life?

#individuals #happiness #factors #person #life

There are many

things

that are responsible for making

someone

happy. Some say that individuals are taking full responsibility for their own happiness,

while

some say that it depends on external factors of

ones'

Change noun form

one's

show examples

lives

Fix the agreement mistake

life

show examples

. I agree that happiness comes when

someone

is capable of controlling their own feelings.

In addition

, our behaviour towards

others

is able to create chain reactions that determine our own emotions.

First,

as human beings, we can create our own joy by perceiving good

things

in everything. Anger, the opposite of joyfulness, is created when we feel something

that is

mean, harsh, or painful.

For example

, if

someone

is off-putting towards us, we can avoid getting mad by seeing it as a joke and not taking it seriously,

hence

, we are able to keep our feelings together and keep going

Change preposition

until

show examples

the end of the day. In short, we have to have the capability of controlling our own

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

and ignoring

things

that are not our business,

thus

, we will

be feeling

Wrong verb form

feel

show examples

good throughout our

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

Second,

our behaviour towards our friends, family, colleagues, and

others

is one of the most influencing factors that affect their responses. In order to be happy, we

also

have to treat

others

properly, because the action that we do is going to determine their reaction.

For instance

, if we treat

someone

respectfully and humbly, people will react kindly and sincerely because they know they are respected.

To conclude

, one should act friendly towards each other since other's responses are responsible for our own happiness.

To sum up

, I agree that, all of the time, all kinds of emotions come from ourselves. We ought to be more sensitive to good

things

than bad

things

moreover

, before hoping to be treated well, being sincere and soft towards

others

must be done in the first place.

Submitted by twiggseducationbdg on Wed Aug 30 2023

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

304 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Do you agree that individuals are responsible for their own happiness or it depends on the factors of the person's life?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Write a 250-word essay for the topic: Some people think that advertisements aimed at children should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

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