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Band 5.5

More and more qualified people are moving from poor to rich countries to fill vacancies in specialist areas like engineering, computing and medicine. Some people believe that by encouraging the movement of such people, rich countries are stealing from poor countries. Others feel that this is only part of the natural movement of workers around the world. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #countries #vacancies #specialist #areas #medicine #movement #part #workers #world
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is that many intelligent individuals are changing their
citizenships
Fix the agreement mistake
citizenship
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 from poor to rich states to become
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
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 in
job
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jobs
show examples
 in master areas like engineering, information technology and treatment. Some
people
 deem that by motivating
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
such
population
Correct article usage
a population
show examples
, well-developed
countries
 are getting illegal from underdeveloped nations. Others
view
Verb problem
apply
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consider
that is
 just one side of the Personally, I tend to think that by encouraging rich
countries
 are gaining more well-educated
people
 from poor
countries
.
Firstly
, it is well-known that the era of globalisation offers more opportunities to whole
people
 and they have a chance to pick a residence
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 themselves. One of the main reasons behind
that is
 they can choose the convenient conditions for their sake and in most situations wealthy
countries
 can give appropriate possibilities. A good case in point is many African
people
 earning money in the United States of America and in Europe
countries
.
On the other hand
, it can
also
 be argued that the brain drain and migration are the result of caring the children.
That is
 to
say
Add a comma
,say
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 the children of more qualified
people
 can attend many courses, ameliorate their knowledge and broaden
Correct pronoun usage
their horizon
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horizon
Fix the agreement mistake
horizons
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 about the world. Take
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
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 example, the kids of
afghans
Capitalize word
Afghans
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 in Canada
know
Correct pronoun usage
who know
show examples
 approximately two or three languages and demonstrate high literacy. In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account in our final analyses we can say that
although
 it
considered
Add a missing verb
is considered
show examples
 as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
stealing, moving from poor to rich
countries
 is the key of the full of success and freedom of finance.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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