IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

People today often use the internet to learn about the culture of other countries. This means that it is not that important to travel to those countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #internet #culture #countries #travel
Human beings have the thirst to gather new knowledge by grasping the cultures, traditions, and heritage of other
nations
.
But
Correct word choice
However
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 in modern civilization, administrative boundaries have created an invisible interruption to enter counties without proper documentation. That’s why people have to rely
upon
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on
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 the internet mostly to gather new experiences rather than
visiting
Wrong verb form
visit
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 countries.
This
 essay will illustrate the importance of
Correct article usage
the world
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world wide web
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World Wide Web
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 to explore the traditional
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
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 of other
nations
 despite having
the
Correct article usage
an
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 interest
to experience
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in experiencing
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 the tradition
in-person
Correct your spelling
in person
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. Lots of resources are stored on the web. Anyone can search for a particular topic in the search engine and can find
out
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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relevant articles,
audio
Correct word choice
and audio
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 visuals from there. Sometimes people have some limitations to
observe
Wrong verb form
observing
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 a live cultural event because of not only the tight schedule,
absence
Correct word choice
and absence
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 of proper documentation but
also
 the monetary consequences. So, in those circumstances, people must depend on the live telecast of the video streaming platform of that cultural event which can be observed from any corner of the world.
However
, by viewing cultural events or traditions of other
nations
 via the lens of the web, individuals end up with the impression that they should visit the countries to have a greater understanding of the cultures.
As a result
, despite having easy access to the online world, individuals continue to go to other countries to participate in cultural events.
Finally
, the internet is an innovation that allows individuals to witness the cultural activities and history of other
nations
 who are unable to present physically because of too many types of limitations in their hectic lives.
Submitted by ahamedzamil15 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural immersion
  • virtual tours
  • biases
  • authenticity
  • cuisine
  • perpetuate
  • sustainable tourism
  • misinterpretations
  • personal relationships
  • language acquisition
  • social media platforms
  • information accessibility
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