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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In the past, most people worked for small businesses, while more people now work for large businesses. What are the advantages and disadvantages of working for large businesses?

#people #businesses #work
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Although
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 most individuals were employed by small businesses in the past, more people prefer to work for huge businesses.
This
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 essay intends to discuss the negative and positive sides of working for large companies. There are some advantages of
this
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 in terms of competition and improvement. First of all, as large companies employ a huge number of
workers
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, an employee should be able to cope with a competitive environment. Everyone is willing to reach higher promotions because they offer much more salary. So, they try to keep up with the fast pace by learning the improvements of
workers
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' skills. In writing with lots of other stuff, employees will develop the basic things required in working life,
such
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 as interaction, teamwork, creativity, and responsibility. So, more efficient capabilities and self-improvement which require endurance and patience are the main benefits of working in large industries. Despite the positive sides given above, some disadvantages can
also
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 be found. When it comes to competition, it will not be beneficial for some
workers
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. Because the other colleagues will
also
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 be very qualified and
this
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 can cause refusal of others.
Also
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, higher promotions are limited and achieving them is a really arduous and long-term process.
Besides
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, a much workload and time required can cause depression.
Also
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, lots of responsibilities put much more pressure on
workers
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.
To sum up
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, nowadays more people are choosing employment opportunities in large industries than in the past.
This
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 trend has both cons and pros in units of a competitive environment and improving qualifications.
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task response
The essay needs to present a more clear and comprehensive response to the question prompt. Ensure that all aspects of the question are addressed and supported with relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks coherence and cohesion in the organization of ideas. Work on organizing the essay logically, with clear introduction and conclusion. Support main points with relevant examples and maintain a consistent flow of ideas throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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