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Writing Samples
Band 7

At the present moment, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people Do you think the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#moment #population #countries #adults #people #situation
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Nowadays, the large population of some countries consists of young
people
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 rather than
elders
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.
Although
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 old
people
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 can help society with their knowledge and experiences, I strongly believe that youngsters can bring countless breakthroughs with themselves for countries. Having a large population of elderly
people
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 can be influential in two main ways. First of all,
people
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 of different ages can find their paths in their lives with the guidance of
elders
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, because of having so many experiences and knowledge they can be considered our leaders, and we can benefit from their advice on not repeating their mistakes in our own lives.
Secondly
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,
elders
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 have been working their whole lives, and have lots of money, which can be used and invested in different businesses in order to boost the economy and provide better conditions of living for other members of society. As an example, they can donate their money to charities to children who are victims of abusive home environments, etc.
On the other hand
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, there are two advantages of living in a country consisting of mostly young adults. One is that young
people
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 are more energetic and have the ability to work for long hours, as a, result they suit physically demanding jobs which can contribute to having better conditions of living
due to
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 a boosted economy.
Additionally
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, adults have better mental well-being than
elders
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, and rarely do they suffer from Neurodegenerative disorders
such
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 as Alzheimer’s disease, As a result, they have more creativity, problem-solving skills, and critical thinking skills required for most jobs, achieving more breakthroughs for their country. In conclusion,
while
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 old
people
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 are a precious part of our country, I believe that youngsters are more essential for reaching our social purposes
due to
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 their physical and mental abilities.
Submitted by reza.ehz68 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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