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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below gives information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity

The chart below gives information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity
#information #percentage #british #people #money #charity
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Linking Words
This
Correct determiner usage
The
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 chart below demonstrates the percentage of British
people
Use synonyms
 donating money to
charity
Use synonyms
. The information is grouped
in
Change preposition
into
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 five different age categories for each we witness two columns. The columns depicted in blue color belong to the data from 1990 and the orange columns are for data collected in 2010. In both 1990 and 2010, there
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 a
raise
Correct your spelling
rise
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 in donations until
Correct article usage
the middle
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middle ages
Correct your spelling
Middle Ages
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 and
then
Linking Words
, a small decrease
in
Change preposition
at
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 the end. With that being said, little under a fifth of the population of 18 to
25
Add a hyphen
25-year-olds
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year
Use synonyms
olds
Use synonyms
 donated money to
charity
Use synonyms
 in 1990.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it was raised to close to a third for 26 to 35
year
Use synonyms
olds
Use synonyms
 and to almost a half
in
Change preposition
for
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 36 to 50
year
Use synonyms
olds
Use synonyms
 in 1990.
Finally
Linking Words
, it experienced a small decrease in
people
Use synonyms
 over 50
years
Use synonyms
 old.
Similarly
Linking Words
 in 2010, the youngest group
gives
Wrong verb form
gave
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 the least to the charities and
then
Linking Words
, the donations
trend
Wrong verb form
trended
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upwards
Correct your spelling
upward
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 until the group of 51 to
65
Add a hyphen
65-year-olds
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year
Use synonyms
olds
Use synonyms
 almost half of whom
donate
Wrong verb form
donated
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 to the
charity
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a bit over a third of the folk over 65
years
Use synonyms
 old donate to charities.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the trends in the share of
people
Use synonyms
 donating to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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charities are the same in 1990 and 2010. But,
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
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people
Use synonyms
 under 50
years
Use synonyms
 old donated money to
charity
Use synonyms
 in 2010 than they did in 1990 and the opposite is true for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 over 50
years
Use synonyms
 old.
Submitted by a.ansari3103 on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, charity, year, olds, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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