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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the chart below shows what anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. the table shows the salaries of theanthropologists in work after five years.

the chart below shows what anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. the table shows the salaries of theanthropologists in work after five years.
#anthropology #graduates #university #course #salaries #theanthropologists #work #five #years
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The pie chart illustrates the proportion of what college
students
Use synonyms
 do after they graduate from university and the table below shows the salaries percentage that they will get after they have worked for 5 years. In summary, the main proportion of
students
Use synonyms
 will do Full-time
work
Use synonyms
 and 5 years later, if they
work
Use synonyms
 as Freelance consultants or Government sector, the percentage that they will get salaries more than $100,000
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 more than 40%. Focusing on the pie graph, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
anthropologist
students
Use synonyms
 will do
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Full-time
work
Use synonyms
, following that, there are 2 destinations that
students
Use synonyms
 choose almost the same which are Part-time
work
Use synonyms
 with 15%
also
Linking Words
 Unemployed 12%. There are 2 8%
work
Use synonyms
 that they choose to
work
Use synonyms
 which are Full-time postgrad study and Not known.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the least destination that they choose is Part-time
work
Use synonyms
 + postgrad study. For the table, there are 3 types of careers which are Freelance consultants, Government sector, and Private companies. The number of anthropologists in both Freelance consultants and
Government
Correct article usage
the Government
show examples
 sector
tend
Change the verb form
tends
show examples
 to have high salaries (more than 75,000) with 80% in total of each group.
Also
Linking Words
, there are the same number in %50,000-74,999 range on these 2 groups by 15% and 5% on $25,000-49,999.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the number of Private companies is not as good as the other 2 careers
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
most of them (35%) get only $50,000-74,999 and only 30% get more than $100,000.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, work with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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