In some culture, children are being told that they can achieve anything if they work hard.What are advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Working hard is loudly encouraged ever since as from an early age so when they grow up, they can acquire things they want. Like a coin, it has two sides that might be positive or negative. When it comes to their
children
, parents are willing to spend money to make their
children
the most shining in the class by taking courses after school time. Parents
also
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
forget to give several motivational phrases and old sayings about hard work never betraying.
Therefore
, these make the
children
eager to work more diligently and spur them to succeed in life. Those
children
who are used to working hard, later in life, are more resistant to any obstacles because they are trained to get used to them. So when they grow up, they are more resilient and less stressed.
On the other hand
, plenty of
children
are pushed too hard to join many classes in a short amount of time. It really gives
children
a lot of burnout. Little they did know, that burnout brings stress and it emerges a feeling of reluctance.
Children
who can not resist stress
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
will soon feel the urge to get out of
this
periodic learning and start to leave all behind. All they want now is just playing around to get the burnout away.
Consequently
, it's hard to bring
children
back to their track of learning diligently. It affects a lot with the psychology of kids. Turns out they are more lazy and will be more vulnerable to feelings of stress.
To sum up
, the advantages of working hard outweigh the disadvantages. An old saying says, "Hold a little more, to gain some more".
Submitted by matcha on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: