IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The bar chart below shows the sector contributions to India’s gross domestic product from 1960 to 2000.

The bar chart below shows the sector contributions to India’s gross domestic product from 1960 to 2000.
#bar #sector #contributions #india’s #product
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This
 bar graph illustrates percentages of three various fields of the whole Indian inner
manifacture
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manufacture
manufacturer
 between 1960 and 2000.
To sum up
, the shares of agriculture declined gradually,
while
 these
of
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apply
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services increased dramatically. The area of industry generated almost
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
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 amount of products, with only tiny growth in the first three decades. The outcome of farming was
initially
 over sixty
percent
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per cent
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.
However
, by 1980, it
firstly
 dropped to roughly 55 %,
then
 approximately to 45% in 1970 and 1980, respectively. A sharp decrease happened over the next two decades.
Firstly
, the interest went down to about thirty % in 1990,
then
 it
stoped
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stopped
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 at below 15% in 2000.
In contrast
, the
amount
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number
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 of contributions
of
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to
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services
Correct article usage
the services
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 field started
with
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at
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 under 20
per
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apply
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cent
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cents
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 and increased to around 30 % during
following
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the following
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 twenty-year period.
Following
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The following
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 years witnessed a jump because the rate soared to 45% in 1990 and rocketed to over 60% in
last
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the last
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 decade. Industry showed a slight growth between 1960 and 1970, from about 15% to nearly 20%.
Afret
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After
 that it almost reached 25%,
however
; remained the same till the end.
Submitted by humay.gambarova on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "firstly, however".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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