Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words

#people #sense #competition #children #co-operate #adults

It is argued that inculcating

competitive

Correct article usage

a competitive

show examples

spirit

is more beneficial for

children

rather

Rephrase

apply

show examples

than being cooperative.

This

is because few believe that sense of competition encourages sportsman

spirit

while

others deem that

children

understand more about the importance of

team

spirit

, which I firmly believe too. On the one hand,

children

get more encouraged to perform better than

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

by participating in competitions. When they perform in

opposite

Add an article

an opposite

the opposite

show examples

team

of their peers, they try to give their best by closely analysing

their

Change the pronoun

the

show examples

flaws

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

brings

Change the verb form

bring

show examples

continuous improvement in them.

For instance

, most of

Add an article

the times

show examples

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

show examples

, schools organize competitive events for

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

students to motivate them

for working

Change preposition

to work

show examples

towards their goals, which might

also

help them to become more determined and find their own ways to enjoy the taste of victory.

On the other hand

, it is indubitable that when

children

work in a

team

, they understand others' sentiments in a better way and

also

learn about how to show respect towards each and every individual. During group tasks, they may prefer to share their ideas and knowledge with other

team

members , where the situation

Correct your spelling

show examples

different during individual performances.

Moreover

, they may

also

realize that every person is different and acquire distinctive skills. To exemplify, during group activities,

children

help their friends by sharing resources and ideas that teach them other important skills

such

as empathy, sympathy and cooperation that would

further

help them in their lives. In conclusion. I concur that working collaboratively with others offers enormous advantages. As it teaches them other significant skills that no competition or sportsmen

spirit

can teach.

Submitted by meghnabawa91 on Thu Aug 31 2023

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

265 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

encourage
compete
cooperate
useful
adults
skills
motivation
drive
resilience
failure
workplace
empathy
social skills
reduce
stress
pressure
balanced
approach
ideal

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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