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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graph shows the hours spent in different study methods during a two year course

The graph shows the hours spent in different study methods during a two year course
#hours #study #methods #two #year #course
The graph gives information about the amount of
hours
 spent on each
method
 in two years.
It is clear that
 lectures and classes
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 most popular from the total in
second
Change the article
the second
show examples
year
 in
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
semester
 (7
hours
). But for a
while
Add a comma
,while
show examples
this
 time
was decrease
Change the verb form
was decreased
show examples
 to 5
hours
 in 2
year
Change to a plural noun
years
show examples
 of 2
semester
Change to a plural noun
semesters
show examples
.
While
 library study
method
 was in 1
year
 of 1
semester
 with 4
hours
 increased
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 top
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 8
hours
 and ended with 6
hours
 in 2
year
Change to a plural noun
years
show examples
 2
semester
Fix the agreement mistake
semesters
show examples
. Applying the contrast, the most unpopular
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the total internet study methods in 1
year
 1
semester
 has surged gradually to 11
hours
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of the time period.
Whereas
library
Correct article usage
the library
show examples
method
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreast
Correct your spelling
decreased
decrease
 from the top
almost
Change preposition
by almost
show examples
 2
hours
.
According to
 the ,figure we can see that
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 study
method
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased gradually,
however
 most popular
method
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of the time period.
Submitted by pasha2400 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, method, year, semester with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
▼
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