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Band 6

The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#enquiries #tourist #information #office #city #period #features #comparisons
The line chart depicts the figures for enquiries sent by the tourist information office in a city for six
months
 in 2011. It is clear from the graph that the
people
Correct quantifier usage
number of people
show examples
 who sent by
telephone
 and in
person
 increased over the six years,
while
 the number of tourists who sent by letter or email decreased in the same period.
According to
 what is shown, in the first
three
months
Add a comma
,months
show examples
 the
people
Correct quantifier usage
number of people
show examples
 who went to the office in
person
 increased doubled who sent by
telephone
.
However
, the increase in
person
 was from 420 to 800 and by
telephone
 was almost 900 to 1000.
In addition
, in the next
three
months
 the increase was huge, from 800 in
person
 to 1900,
while
 by
telephone
, the first month was the same, after that went up until 1600 in June.
On the other hand
, the number of people who sent the latter or email decreased slightly in the first
three
months
,
while
 in the next two
months
Add a comma
,months
show examples
 the decrease was gradual from 700 to nearly 3800. The
last
 month was at the same level.
To sum up
, the tourists in the
last
three
months
 focused on the
telephone
 and in
person
.
Submitted by Aziz on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, while".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words months, telephone, person, three with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • number of inquiries
  • Tourist Information Office
  • six-month period
  • increased steadily
  • reached a peak
  • decreased slightly
  • increased dramatically
  • experienced a gradual decline
  • general trend
  • highest number
  • lowest number
  • significant increase
  • tourism interest
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