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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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Introduction
Some
peope
Correct your spelling
people
 argue that many rural
people
Use synonyms
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
leaving
Wrong verb form
left
show examples
Use synonyms
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
 recently. I strongly believe that most
people
Use synonyms
 hope to live in cities. that will
be
Verb problem
have
show examples
 no good effect
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 us.
Body paragraph 1
Nowadays,
Use synonyms
countryside's
Correct article usage
the countryside's
show examples
 population is reducing.
Also
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
farming
Replace the word
farm
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 decreasing too.
As a result
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 study farming
technologe
Correct your spelling
technology
. The
studies
Change noun form
study's
show examples
 contents
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 a few
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
possiable
Correct your spelling
possible
possibly
 farming methods. So, arm has changed smart
farm
Fix the agreement mistake
farms
show examples
 by the studies .
Smart
Add an article
The smart
show examples
 farm is
auto
Add an article
an auto
the auto
show examples
 farming system. That brought the
great
Change the adjective
greatly
show examples
 advanced
countryside
Use synonyms
enviornmemt
Correct your spelling
environment
.
Body paragraph 2
However
Linking Words
, the many
people
Use synonyms
 leaving
Use synonyms
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
 has several severe
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
show examples
. Among the
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
, rural
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
 with most
youger
Correct your spelling
younger
young
people
Use synonyms
 leaving remained a lot of older
people
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
, the rural lack of
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
. And, Schools
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 closing. Becasue, chidren disapear too.
Also
Linking Words
, they
leaving
Wrong verb form
leave
show examples
 after
remain
Verb problem
leaving
show examples
 their house.
the
Capitalize word
The
show examples
 house might
using
Change the verb form
use
be using
show examples
 crime.
That is
Linking Words
 very dangerous. So,
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 spend
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a lot of money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the empty houses
gaurd
Correct your spelling
guard
 and patrol.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, It will be
development
Correct article usage
a development
show examples
unbalnce
Correct your spelling
imbalance
 between cities
which
Correct word choice
where
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 coming place and
Correct article usage
the countrysides
show examples
countrysides
Fix the agreement mistake
countryside
show examples
which
Correct word choice
where
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 leaving
place
Add an article
the place
a place
show examples
 . The mentioned above, both
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 will be
dagerous
Correct your spelling
dangerous
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
 us.
Conclusion
In conclusion, despite
Correct article usage
the countrysides
show examples
countrysides
Fix the agreement mistake
countryside
show examples
develop
Replace the word
development
show examples
 to smart farming, I still firmly support
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
 leaving
people
Use synonyms
countrysides
Fix the agreement mistake
countryside
show examples
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
 effect
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our society.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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