Some people think children have the freedom to make mistakes, while other people believe that adults should prevent children from making mistakes. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #children #freedom #mistakes #adults

In today's society, there are different views about whether

children

should be taught to be free or prevent making

mistakes

While

a spirit of freedom sometimes is useful in

children

's lives. In my opinion, I believe both sides of the debate have good reasons. The writing below will discuss both views. On the one hand, try to make

mistakes

and give freedom People think that

parents

cannot be around their kids all the time, one day there will be adults, so

children

make

mistakes

when new things are inevitable.

In addition

children

can learn many valuable lessons from their

mistakes

that may not be taught by any educational method.

For example

, when I was a litter kid, I used the light to fry food but the fire hurt me so I learned next time to play fire needs more attention. In

this

,situation we can see people overtook prevent

children

from making

mistakes

that will make

children

overly dependent on others.

On the other hand

, support

parents

involved the

children

grow up that most

mistakes

are dangerous and avoidable.

For instance

parents

can teach

children

to keep away the dangerous rivers, knives and fires.

Thus

, helping their offspring avoid making

mistakes

preemptively makes

parents

feel good about themselves for trying to fulfil their responsibilities. In conclusion, I believe that both ideals stand different points to make

children

grow up.

However

parents

should provide guidance and intervention when their

children

are suffering from difficult problems or making big

mistakes

Submitted by ur790609922 on Thu Aug 31 2023

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coherence cohesion

Improve logical structure of the essay by organizing ideas more coherently and cohesively.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, but they need improvement in terms of clarity and relevance to the topic.

task achievement

Support main points with more relevant and specific examples to strengthen the argument.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

248 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think children have the freedom to make mistakes, while other people believe that adults should prevent children from making mistakes. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Word Count

Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that in today's world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history?

Some people think that students in single-sex schools perform better academically. Others, however; believe that mixed schools provide children with better social skills for adult life.

Many students find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention at school. What are the reasons? What could be done to solve this problem? You should write at least 250 words.