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Band 5

Some people think children have the freedom to make mistakes, while other people believe that adults should prevent children from making mistakes. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #children #freedom #mistakes #adults
In today's society, there are different views about whether
children
 should be taught to be free or prevent making
mistakes
.
While
 a spirit of freedom sometimes is useful in
children
's lives. In my opinion, I believe both sides of the debate have good reasons. The writing below will discuss both views. On the one hand, try to make
mistakes
 and give freedom People think that
parents
 cannot be around their kids all the time, one day there will be adults, so
children
 make
mistakes
 when new things are inevitable.
In addition
,
children
 can learn many valuable lessons from their
mistakes
 that may not be taught by any educational method.
For example
, when I was a litter kid, I used the light to fry food but the fire hurt me so I learned next time to play fire needs more attention. In
this
 ,situation we can see people overtook prevent
children
 from making
mistakes
 that will make
children
 overly dependent on others.
On the other hand
, support
parents
 involved the
children
 grow up that most
mistakes
 are dangerous and avoidable.
For instance
,
parents
 can teach
children
 to keep away the dangerous rivers, knives and fires.
Thus
, helping their offspring avoid making
mistakes
 preemptively makes
parents
 feel good about themselves for trying to fulfil their responsibilities. In conclusion, I believe that both ideals stand different points to make
children
 grow up.
However
,
parents
 should provide guidance and intervention when their
children
 are suffering from difficult problems or making big
mistakes
.
Submitted by ur790609922 on

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coherence cohesion
Improve logical structure of the essay by organizing ideas more coherently and cohesively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they need improvement in terms of clarity and relevance to the topic.
task achievement
Support main points with more relevant and specific examples to strengthen the argument.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • freedom to make mistakes
  • critical thinking skills
  • lifelong learning
  • guided learning environment
  • resilience
  • independence
  • overprotective
  • dependency
  • problem-solving skills
  • confidence
  • negative consequences
  • learning process
  • personal growth
  • trial and error
  • balance safety and learning
  • development
  • support and guidance
  • empowerment
  • risk-taking
  • life lessons
What to do next:
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