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One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. DO you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#consequences #care #people #life #expectancy #development
The availability of excellent healthcare nowadays makes
people
lived
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
 longer than expected
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
access to treatment options
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 easier and well thought decisions are being made regarding
health
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
well taken
care
 of.
While
this
sound
Correct subject-verb agreement
sounds
show examples
 true to some, many still believe that medical
care
 is costly and not all can afford it. A lot of
people
 think that medical
care
 need not
to
Remove the word
apply
show examples
be expensive.
However
, one cannot guarantee that excellent
care
 is achieved when these are not made available for
fee
Add an article
a fee
show examples
.
For instance
, when government do not provide
health
care
 services to its
people
, the individual will have to check which medical premiums they want to avail
that
Change preposition
of that
show examples
requires
Correct subject-verb agreement
require
show examples
 more coverage and
Add a missing verb
are budget
show examples
budget friendly
Add a hyphen
budget-friendly
show examples
. Say
for example
, if one is not employed
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 a company, he or she will be forced to get one and pay his own individual
health
care
 causing great burden and stress for the individual.
On the other hand
,
heath
Correct your spelling
health
show examples
care
 made available for all will make more
peoples
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 lives longer, more
health conscious
Add a hyphen
health-conscious
show examples
 and
stress free
Add a hyphen
stress-free
show examples
.
For instance
, if proper
health
care
 is available,
people
 will get treated as quickly as possible knowing that certain procedure like blood test and CT scan are made accessible and wider disease coverage for consultation and treatment are considered without
nothing
Correct pronoun usage
anything
show examples
 to worry
.
Change preposition
about.
show examples
 Another good thing
for
Change preposition
about
show examples
 improved
health
care
 when made accessible is that
people
 will be well informed as to the treatment options they want to consider.
People
 with disease conditions can make informed choices when they know that treatments like palliative
care
 or rehabilitative
care
 can be given when these are covered in the
health
care
 benefits. In conclusion,
it
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
 is no doubt that providing quality
health
care
 to all will make
people
 live longer and
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should provide
this
 as a basic individual right. With these,
people
 will be
stress free
Add a hyphen
stress-free
show examples
 and enjoy better quality of life.
Submitted by snonahmae on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • life expectancy
  • elderly population
  • health care systems
  • pension funds
  • extended family relationships
  • quality of life
  • aging population
  • economic growth
  • volunteer work
  • expertise
  • financial planning
  • retirement
  • age-related diseases
  • medical research
  • healthier lifestyles
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