One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. DO you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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The availability of excellent healthcare nowadays makes
people
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lived
Wrong verb form
live
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longer than expected
and
Correct word choice
apply
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access to treatment options
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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easier and well thought decisions are being made regarding
health
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are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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well taken
care
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of.
While
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this
Linking Words
sound
Correct subject-verb agreement
sounds
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true to some, many still believe that medical
care
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is costly and not all can afford it. A lot of
people
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think that medical
care
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need not
to
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apply
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be expensive.
However
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, one cannot guarantee that excellent
care
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is achieved when these are not made available for
fee
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a fee
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, when government do not provide
health
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care
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services to its
people
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, the individual will have to check which medical premiums they want to avail
that
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of that
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requires
Correct subject-verb agreement
require
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more coverage and
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are budget
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budget friendly
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budget-friendly
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. Say
for example
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, if one is not employed
from
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by
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a company, he or she will be forced to get one and pay his own individual
health
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care
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causing great burden and stress for the individual.
On the other hand
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,
heath
Correct your spelling
health
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care
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made available for all will make more
peoples
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people's
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lives longer, more
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health conscious
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health-conscious
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and
stress free
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stress-free
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.
For instance
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, if proper
health
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care
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is available,
people
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will get treated as quickly as possible knowing that certain procedure like blood test and CT scan are made accessible and wider disease coverage for consultation and treatment are considered without
nothing
Correct pronoun usage
anything
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to worry
.
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about.
show examples
Another good thing
for
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about
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improved
health
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care
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when made accessible is that
people
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will be well informed as to the treatment options they want to consider.
People
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with disease conditions can make informed choices when they know that treatments like palliative
care
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or rehabilitative
care
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can be given when these are covered in the
health
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care
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benefits. In conclusion,
it
Correct pronoun usage
there
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is no doubt that providing quality
health
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care
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to all will make
people
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live longer and
government
Correct article usage
the government
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should provide
this
Linking Words
as a basic individual right. With these,
people
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will be
stress free
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stress-free
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and enjoy better quality of life.
Submitted by snonahmae on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • life expectancy
  • elderly population
  • health care systems
  • pension funds
  • extended family relationships
  • quality of life
  • aging population
  • economic growth
  • volunteer work
  • expertise
  • financial planning
  • retirement
  • age-related diseases
  • medical research
  • healthier lifestyles
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