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Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below give information about travel to and from the UK from 1979 to 1999, and the bar graph shows the most popular countries for UK residents to visit

The charts below give information about travel to and from the UK from 1979 to 1999, and the bar graph shows the most popular countries for UK residents to visit
#information #travel #uk #bar #countries #residents #visit
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Information about the
number
Use synonyms
 of tourists to the
UK
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 and the
number
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 of
UK
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 citizens, who visited other countries, for a
twenty year
Add a hyphen
twenty-year
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 period is presented by a line graph. Data about the most popular places among the British in the year 1999
,
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apply
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 are illustrated by a bar chart.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of visitors coming to the
UK
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 almost doubled,
people
Correct word choice
and people
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 leaving the
UK
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 for
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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 purposes multiplied almost five times.
Also
Linking Words
, France is noticeably the most popular destination. In 1979 the
number
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 of tourists, who
traveled
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travelled
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 abroad, and those, who visited the
UK
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is
Wrong verb form
was
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 almost equal, close to ten
million
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. Both experienced a steady rise
,
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apply
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 when in 1986 the values reached twenty
million
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 for the residents leaving the country and around twelve
million
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 for those who
come
Wrong verb form
came
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 to it.
Then
Linking Words
 a dramatic rise is seen, which continues throughout the whole period, reaching its peak in 1999 with almost 55
million
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 citizens, who decided to visit other countries and nearly 30
million
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, who got to see the beauty of the United Kingdom. For the
British
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,British
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 the most interesting destinations in 1999 were Turkey, Greece and USA, which were all visited by less than five
million
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 people. Other popular places were Spain with close to ten
million
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 and of course France with more than eleven
million
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 tourists from the
UK
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.
Submitted by evamironova65 on

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, uk, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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