IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #time #activities #children #parents
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A debate over deciding
the
Correct word choice
whether the
show examples
activities
Use synonyms
 of
children
Use synonyms
 in their free
time
Use synonyms
 should be taken by their
parents
Use synonyms
 or the
children
Use synonyms
 themselves is long been a subject of discussion. Some people believe that
parents
Use synonyms
 should organize their kid's free
time
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
 for better utilization of
time
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 others believe that
children
Use synonyms
 themselves should have
Add an article
the
show examples
freedom to decide it. Well, both have their own advantages and disadvantages and I will discuss both sides of the story.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
parents
Use synonyms
 are more mature and have life experience
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
Linking Words
 they want their
kids
Use synonyms
 to spend
time
Use synonyms
 in those
activities
Use synonyms
 which are good for them.
Kids
Use synonyms
 comparatively are highly emotional and make decisions
accordingly
Linking Words
 and do not think about the benefits.
For example
Linking Words
, today's generation is more interested in video games which is good to some extent but
kids
Use synonyms
 want to spend all their free
time
Use synonyms
 playing video games and
parents
Use synonyms
 want their
kids
Use synonyms
 to spend their free
time
Use synonyms
 playing physical games which is good for health or in some creative
activities
Use synonyms
 i.e. reading books or exploring new things.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, choosing the
activities
Use synonyms
 of their own interest by
kids
Use synonyms
 themselves is
also
Linking Words
 good for
kids
Use synonyms
. I they select the
activities
Use synonyms
 that they like,
then
Linking Words
 they will perform well in them and will gain confidence.
For instance
Linking Words
, if a child wants to play football in his free
time
Use synonyms
 but his
parents
Use synonyms
 force him to do something else
then
Linking Words
 he will lose confidence and won't be able to perform well in other
activities
Use synonyms
 as well. But if he plays football, he will definitely perform well. In conclusion, there should be a balance in making decisions. Sometimes
parents
Use synonyms
 should enforce their decision on the
kids
Use synonyms
 because those
activities
Use synonyms
 have benefits but sometimes
parents
Use synonyms
 should let their
children
Use synonyms
 decide for themselves so that they don't lose their confidence and don't feel themselves in a cage.
Submitted by khannaughty26 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • balanced development
  • expose children to
  • tailored activities
  • promote discipline
  • foster independence
  • genuine interests
  • free play
  • problem-solving skills
  • emotional well-being
  • unstructured time
  • personal exploration
  • structured activities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: