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Writing Samples
Band 8

Although more and more people read the news on the Internet, newspaper will remain the most important source of news for the majority of people. Do you agree or disagree with that statement?

#people #news #internet #newspaper #source #majority
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Recent years have witnessed an increase in the number of people spending their time reading the news on their smartphones.
However
, it is argued that newspapers are still important to the ways humans approach the news.
While
 I accept that
this
 perception is somewhat justifiable, I believe that they should
also
 change to suit the development of society and community. On the one hand, newspapers could be beneficial to some individuals because of several driving factors.
Firstly
, the cost of buying a newspaper is quite cheap compared to buying a mobile device with an internet connection to read information online.
For example
, in Vietnam, a newspaper sells for 0.5 dollars
such
 as The Police, The Young, and The Sport, many times lower than the cost of a local breakfast.
Therefore
, it is easily accepted as something every day.
Secondly
, it is perfectly suitable for middle age or older.
For instance
, you can easily have your elderly neighbours read magazines on their porches, drink a cup of tea, and chat with each other.
On the other hand
, there are a host of compelling reasons as to why I am convinced that paper magazines will be less important in modern life. First and foremost, it is very easy to access a huge amount of information from all over the world, with just a phone with an internet connection.
This
 amount of news is simply free, and updated continuously,
instead
 of having to wait at least a day like magazines.
Furthermore
, the cellphone market is very diverse, with prices suitable for everyone and increasingly easy to use.
According to
 a statistic in The Young publisher, more and more people own smartphones, from young to old,
This
 number is growing by an average of 5% per year in the under 30s and 10% per year in the over 60s.
Consequently
, more and more people are changing with the flow of time, including their behaviour towards state-of-the-art technology. In conclusion, whilst it is irrefutable that newspapers are of paramount importance to some communities, I would contend that they should
also
 put effort into change to suit the technology advanced as a whole.
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Task Response
Ensure a clear and direct response to the prompt, with a well-defined position on the issue.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the use of cohesive devices to better connect ideas and improve overall coherence.
Lexical Resource
Diversify vocabulary to include a wider range of words and expressions, especially in conveying more complex ideas.
Grammatical Range
Make use of a wider range of sentence structures and ensure accurate use of grammar throughout the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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