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Band 4

some people believe that university students should work part time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #university #students #work #part #time
Some
indivedual
Correct your spelling
individual
individuals
 thinks that university students should get a
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
job
.
Overall
, getting
work
 early in your
life
 holds
a lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
show examples
 of benefits,
such
 as gaining
experince
Correct your spelling
experience
,becoming more independent and social.
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 totally agree that a
person
 should do a
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
job
.
Part
Add a hyphen
Part-time
show examples
time
 jobs
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
 the
person
 a lot of experience, working teach us to be more responsible personally and financially.
when
Capitalize word
When
show examples
 going to
work
indivisual
Correct your spelling
individuals
 have to come on
time
,
taking
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
 care of chores, more knowledge of
life
 outside
living
Verb problem
apply
show examples
from
parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
show examples
.
for
Capitalize word
For
show examples
 example, one of my
collage
Correct your spelling
college
show examples
 friends told me that in her family, when they reach 16 her father will stop giving them money and there
for motivating
Change preposition
to motivate
show examples
 them to go look for
work
. by doing that she collected money for her university.
she
Capitalize word
She
show examples
 said
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 was mad at that
time
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because we were young but
i'm
Change the capitalization
I'm
show examples
thankfull
Correct your spelling
thankful
 for my dad.
he
Capitalize word
He
show examples
 taught us how to be strong
if
Capitalize word
If
show examples
 it
werent
Correct your spelling
weren't
 for him we
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 be spoiled. Engaging in
work
life
let
Wrong verb form
lets
show examples
 us go outside our comfort zone and
getting
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
 to know how to deal with people.
for
Capitalize word
For
show examples
 example, a shy
person
no
Change preposition
with no
show examples
 social
life
 setting in to
work
 will force
him
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
to talk with people and deal with them.
by
Capitalize word
By
show examples
 that changing his
personalty
Correct your spelling
personality
show examples
 and add up to his social skills. In
conculsion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, a minority of people share thoughts that
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
work
 will help
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unviersity
Correct your spelling
university
 students.
a
Capitalize word
A
show examples
job
 will add to
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
person
Change noun form
person's
show examples
life
 experience, social and finically, which results in
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 mature and independent
person
.For
that
Add a comma
,that
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 agree
comletelly
Correct your spelling
completely
 and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 advise them to look for
job
Add an article
a job
show examples
.
Submitted by drsukainahh on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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