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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

#growth #shops #towns #cities
Nowadays, online
shops
 have opened up for almost anything you could imagine. The upsurge in
people
’s tendency to buy online has shrunk
shops
’ share of the whole market. Some predict that eventually
shops
 will be completely pushed out of the picture. In spite of
this
 ,fact there are some reasons to believe
otherwise
. First of all, buying a product in person gives you the peace of mind that it is exactly what you have in mind.
For instance
, a piece of clothing could be tried on to see if it exactly fits the person. When buying online, you cannot be assured that you are going to appreciate your purchase as much as you thought.
As a result
, online
shops
 may not be able to completely replace
shops
 for certain products.
Secondly
, shopping is sometimes done just for the sake of having a good time. For many, the process of going to malls and choosing what to buy is an important aspect of shopping. Some are even considered to be shopaholics, addicted to the joy of shopping. These
people
 buy things that they don’t need and cannot necessarily afford because they can’t control themselves. As long as some
people
 enjoy shopping in
this
 way,
shops
 will surely have their regular clientele. Shopping online obviously has its advantages; it lets
people
 spend much less time on transportation and shopping, and it
also
 enables
people
 to compare prices more easily. Despite
this
, considering the points made above one could not easily imagine
shops
 being completely replaced by their online counterpart.
Submitted by amin.gerami on

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task response
Ensure that your introduction provides a clear indication of your position on the issue. Your conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your position.
coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from clearer paragraph transitions and a more cohesive structure. Make sure each paragraph is logically linked to the next.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • physical stores
  • online retailers
  • retail apocalypse
  • digital economy
  • consumer behavior
  • sustainability
  • commercial landscape
  • high-street
  • consumer trends
  • augmented reality
  • showrooms
  • carbon footprint
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