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Band 4.5

modern technology is changing our world. this has advantages such as bringing people closer together through communication. it also has disadvantages such as destroying the different between cultures. to what extent do you agree or disagree whis this statment?

#technology #world #people #communication #cultures #whis #statment
As
the
Correct article usage
apply
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technology
 grow rapidly, the advantages
such
 as making a strong bond with others and
also
 disadvantages
such
 as more similarities between different culture have appeared. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will talk about both aspects. Some
people
 claim that
technology
 is very beneficial in our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. Not only we can communicate with a lot of
people
 around the world, but
also
 it is much faster than before.
Moreover
, we will never feel lonely and isolated in
this
 world. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the internet eliminates any
restriction
Fix the agreement mistake
restrictions
show examples
 that used to be in past. Modern
technology
 is so powerful. We can use different apps like WhatsApp in order to chat, video call and send voice to each other during the
day
 whenever we want.
On the other hand
, because of these connections, most of the
people
 nowadays know about different cultures. There are several posts and videos which
people
 share
in
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on
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 social media.
In addition
, it has many effects
in
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on
show examples
people
's points of view and culture. They really live to copy their behaviour.
For example
, in
Iran
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,Iran
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 we don’t have a
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valentine's
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valentine
Capitalize word
Valentine
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day
Capitalize word
Day
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 in our culture but now, most
of
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apply
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the
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people
 celebrate
this
day
 without any knowledge. Because of that, we have a mixture of
the
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festivals and ceremonies in Iran.
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, we have a specific
day
in
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apply
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each year for showing our love to our partner which is called Sepandar Mazdgan.
This
 is the time that we appreciate the
kindnes
Correct your spelling
kindness
 and
also
 the love sharing that we have in our
life
. In conclusion, the use of
technology
 is unavoidable in our
life
. It has been effected our entire
life
 and we can see it in our modern cultural pattern.
Furthermore
, the pros of
the
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apply
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technology
 in our communication
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 undeniable. I completely agree with
this
 opinion.
Submitted by javadsaady1992 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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