The charts below show the results of a survey on happiness ratings for married and unmarried people in the US, and the effect of children on the overall ratings of married couples

The charts below show the results of a survey on

happiness ratings for married and unmarried

people in the US, and the effect of children on the

overall ratings of married couples
The given charts represent the result of a survey on satisfaction levels for married and unmarried
people
in the US, and the effect of
children
on the
overall
ratings of married couples.
Overall
, married couples’ percentages are
reveals
Verb problem
apply
show examples
almost similar in every
age
category,
while
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
those of unmarried
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
a higher percentage in the older ages;
however
, the rest
shares
Fix the agreement mistake
share
show examples
almost similar numbers.
According to
the first chart, the proportions of joyful married
people
in four various
age
groups are over 40%, and married
people
who are in
age
18-29 are the happiest at 45%. Meanwhile, the happiness percentages of unmarried
people
are clearly lower than
another one
Fix the agreement mistake
other ones
show examples
at slightly over 20%, but single
people
who are over 65 have a noticeable gap with other
age
groups at almost 35%.
Further more
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
show examples
, the second bar chart shows that having
children
does not
give
Verb problem
have
show examples
a significant effect
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
happiness levels. The highest percentage of satisfaction by married
people
with
children
under 18 is 44%.
However
, slightly fewer (43%) of married
people
are satisfied with their life. Meanwhile, 41%
those
Change preposition
of those
show examples
with
children
in teenagers and above
age
groups are happy.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, overall".
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, children, age with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.

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