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People eat more processed food now than in the past. What are the reasons for this? What might be the results?

#people #food #results
It is true that today
people
 tend to eat more processed
food
 compared to old times. Different from many years ago
people
 are likely to buy ready
meals
. There are a number of reasons and effects of
this
 phenomenon and I will discuss them in
this
 essay. One of the main reasons why
people
 prefer processed
food
 is that busy lifestyles do not leave extra
time
 for them to prepare and cook
food
 at home.
For example
, if someone works ten hours every day, he or she will not be able to find enough
time
for preparing
Change preposition
to prepare
show examples
 dinner.
Thus
, in order to eat something they have to buy ready
meals
 from supermarkets or order
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. Another reason
lies under
Verb problem
for
show examples
this
 tendency for
this
 generation is the lack of cooking knowledge. Not only do they lack the ability to cook, but
also
 they have insufficient information about nutritious ingredients.
That is
 why individuals prefer fast
food
, which is the easiest way, rather than cooking it.
Although
 life conditions do not leave
people
other
Change preposition
with other
show examples
 options
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
 eating habits,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
brought
Wrong verb form
bring
show examples
 and will have many side effects on folks.
Firstly
, our bodies will not be as resilient as our ancestors
due to
 the ingredients added to processed
food
. What I mean is that since our ancestors used to it mainly natural foods, which are free of chemicals, their immunity
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
 were much stronger as opposed to ours.
Moreover
, our bodies will become more addicted to ready-made
food
 as it is believed that companies add some addictive elements so that they sell their products for a long
time
.
This
 means that we will become dependent on
those
Change the determiner
that food
show examples
food
 for a long
time
. Taking everything into account, it could be concluded that a busy lifestyle and lack of cooking knowledge are the main reasons for choosing ready
meals
.
Also
,
this
 tendency will cause
people
 to have less healthy bodies and become addicted to processed
meals
.
Submitted by aydinaliyew on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. While you presented ideas in a relatively clear order, it is essential to have a more cohesive thread connecting them.
Coherence and Cohesion
Develop main points with supported arguments or examples. You should expand on your ideas by providing more specific examples and evidence to illustrate your points.
Task Achievement
Make sure to fully address all parts of the task. You have identified reasons and results, but a deeper analysis of each point would enhance the completeness of your response.
Task Achievement
Clarify and elaborate on your ideas to ensure a comprehensive understanding. Presenting the ideas in a more detailed manner would help in making the essay more informative and impactful.
Task Achievement
Incorporate a wider range of relevant, specific examples to substantiate your arguments. While you have provided general examples, more specificity would increase the effectiveness of your support.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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