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Band 8

The number of older people is increasing. Some people think it will cause problems in their countries, others believe this group is important to the society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #countries #group #society
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The number of senior citizens in society nowadays is climbing. Some believe it would lead to ramifications in their countries.
whereas
, others argue that they are of major importance to society.
This
 essay agrees with the latter group, the benefits of having more older people benefit the public greatly. Having more seniors in communities could bring about major unemployment. As the age of retirement is from ages 65 to 70 years old many folk work for a longer time. And so, because there are more youngsters these days there are fewer job opportunities creating massive competition and unemployment and eventually homelessness, as the older folk stay in their fields for longer resulting in an imbalanced society.
For example
, in Somalia, there are many newly qualified graduates without employment as many companies have a majority of their positions filled with employees that have been working there for decades.
However
, many believe that are are huge advantages to having communities full of older residents especially when it involves people's health. Typically, as you grow you are succumbed to all sorts of diseases and with a large group of seniors there is more of a chance that scientists and medical professionals find a viable treatment,
thus
, eventually helping the next generations to come. A prime example of
this
 is Parkinson's disease, As people were getting older more developed
this
 disease, and
due to
this
, medical professionals were able to deduct a treatment plan when they had a large pool to extract data from.
Subsequently
, it ended up aiding newly diagnosed patients.
To conclude
, the rise in the amount of older citizens can lead to competition and unemployment,
nonetheless
, it could be the reason why more communities live longer. In my opinion, I agree that there is a major importance in having a larger older population as it positively affects our life span.
Submitted by amaladem24 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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