IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Parents, particularly mothers, do not go to work to take care of family. Some people say that the government should give some money to those parents. do you agree or disagree with the satement? give reasons to your answers and give example to support your views.

#parents #mothers #work #care #people #government #money #satement #answers #support
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It has been considered that
mothers
 have a priority to take care of family rather than going
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 work,
While
 some opine that the
government
 should
support
 those parents, others would have the opposite opinion, I agree with the statement above that they are entitled to the
government
support
. In
this
 essay, I will clarify my viewpoint with relevant examples.
To begin
 with, the significant role that
mothers
 play in raising their children with great values will lead to a will-brought-up generation, and
as a result
 of
this
, the development and welfare of society will be secured,
for example
, most successful
figuers
Correct your spelling
figures
 point out that the beginning of their journey of success begun at home when their
mothers
 had enough time to
tech
Correct your spelling
teach
show examples
 them and fuel
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 inspiration,
thus
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if they parents had not had
this
 time to be with them, they would not have been what they are now.
Therefore
, the
government
 should
support
 them with a proper amount of cash so they will be able to carry out
this
 mission.
On the other hand
, those who argue that the
government
 should stop
this
 fund say that it could lead to more economic obstacles,
moreover
, they would be prone to pay additional taxes in order to
support
 these families.
Additionally
, these voices who claim that supporting these governmental programs are waste of taxpayers' money deny the fact that if
mothers
 go to work and neglect their children and other domestic tasks
this
 will have a severe malignant impact on individuals and society.
For instance
, most youth crimes
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
happen in Developing Countries because of the absence of family roles. In conclusion, despite the opponents' opinions about
this
 trend, I immensely agree with the fact that parents particularly
mothers
 should stay home and take care of their family
instead
 of going to work and the
government
 should
support
 them with money.
Submitted by abdoo.magicoo on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: