Some people think it s good for teenagers to have part time jobs, while other people believe teenagers should not work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #teenagers #part #time #jobs #work

Nowadays, there are many types of

part

Add a hyphen

part-time

show examples

time

jobs

in the country. Some people believe that

teenagers

must have

part

Add a hyphen

part-time

show examples

time

jobs

others people believe that

teenagers

should not work. In

this

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

I will discuss

about

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

both views and write down my own opinion

that

Change preposition

show examples

how I think. On the

Correct your spelling

one

show examples

hand,

mostly

Correct your spelling

most

show examples

parents

in the USA have to tell their children to

got

Change the form of the verb

get

show examples

a work.

In addition

, their children must be

Change preposition

apply

show examples

18+ age up.

Hence

, Every

teenagers

Change to a singular noun

teenager

show examples

USA

Correct article usage

the USA

show examples

might

have

Add the particle

tohave

show examples

go out to do

part

Add a hyphen

part-time

show examples

time

jobs

after

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

school.

Such

as a fast food waiter, a cleaner, and a

baby sitting

Correct your spelling

babysitting

show examples

While

they

are having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

part

Add a hyphen

part-time

show examples

time

jobs

they can get

Change the word

their

show examples

own money except

getting

Verb problem

apply

show examples

from their

parents

However

, some

parents

think that

Change preposition

apply

show examples

having a

part

Add a hyphen

part-time

show examples

time

jobs

Fix the agreement mistake

job

show examples

for

teenagers

wasting

Wrong verb form

a waste of

show examples

time

For example

, if their kid must have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

work after school

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

will

be lose

Change the verb form

lose

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

time

for learning the subjects and doing the homework for school.

On the other hand

, I think that

teenagers

should do a

part

Add a hyphen

part-time

show examples

time

jobs

Fix the agreement mistake

job

show examples

. Because making

Remove the article

apply

show examples

money

from

Change preposition

show examples

other ways

instead

getting

Change preposition

of getting

show examples

from

Correct pronoun usage

it from

show examples

the

parents

good

Add an article

a good

show examples

thing.

For example

teenagers

in Thailand

are normally do

Change the verb form

normally do

show examples

not have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

part

Add a hyphen

part-time

show examples

time

jobs

. So, they do not know how to survive

theire

Correct your spelling

their

there

life and do not know how getting money is not easy. They love

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

convenience

Replace the word

convenient

show examples

life. In conclusion, I have described both

Change preposition

apply

show examples

view

Fix the agreement mistake

views

show examples

and

give

Wrong verb form

given

show examples

my opinion about

teenagers

Correct word choice

whether teenagers

show examples

should have

part

Add a hyphen

part-time

show examples

time

jobs

or not.

Submitted by babydreamx on Fri Sep 01 2023

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
47Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

258 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think it s good for teenagers to have part time jobs, while other people believe teenagers should not work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Describe a place where you like to travel and give out reasons

In some countries, the difference in age between parents and children is generally greater than it was in the past. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Although families have influence on a children’s development, factors outside the home play a bigger part in their lives nowadays. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

some people think that individuals are responsible to take care of own health and diet. But some claim that it is government' s duty. Discuss both views.

Some people think that climate change could have a negative effect on business. Other people think that climate change could create more business opportunities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.