IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think it s good for teenagers to have part time jobs, while other people believe teenagers should not work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #teenagers #part #time #jobs #work
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Nowadays, there are many types of
Use synonyms
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
jobs
Use synonyms
 in the country. Some people believe that
teenagers
Use synonyms
 must have
Use synonyms
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
jobs
Use synonyms
 others people believe that
teenagers
Use synonyms
 should not work. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
both views and write down my own opinion
that
Change preposition
on
show examples
 how I think. On the
on
Correct your spelling
one
show examples
 hand,
mostly
Correct your spelling
most
show examples
 
parents
Use synonyms
 in the USA have to tell their children to
got
Change the form of the verb
get
show examples
 a work.
In addition
Linking Words
, their children must be
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
18+ age up.
Hence
Linking Words
, Every
Use synonyms
teenagers
Change to a singular noun
teenager
show examples
 in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 might
have
Add the particle
tohave
show examples
 go out to do
Use synonyms
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
jobs
Use synonyms
 after
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school.
Such
Linking Words
 as a fast food waiter, a cleaner, and a
baby sitting
Correct your spelling
babysitting
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
 they
are having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
jobs
Use synonyms
 they can get
a
Change the word
their
show examples
 own money except
getting
Verb problem
apply
show examples
from their
parents
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.
However
Linking Words
, some
parents
Use synonyms
 think that
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
having a
Use synonyms
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
jobs
Fix the agreement mistake
job
show examples
 for
teenagers
Use synonyms
 is
wasting
Wrong verb form
a waste of
show examples
time
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, if their kid must have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work after school
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 will
be lose
Change the verb form
lose
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 for learning the subjects and doing the homework for school.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I think that
teenagers
Use synonyms
 should do a
Use synonyms
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
jobs
Fix the agreement mistake
job
show examples
. Because making
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
money
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 other ways
instead
Linking Words
getting
Change preposition
of getting
show examples
from
Correct pronoun usage
it from
show examples
 the
parents
Use synonyms
 is
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 thing.
For example
Linking Words
,
teenagers
Use synonyms
 in Thailand
are normally do
Change the verb form
normally do
show examples
 not have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
jobs
Use synonyms
. So, they do not know how to survive
theire
Correct your spelling
their
there
 life and do not know how getting money is not easy. They love
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
show examples
 life. In conclusion, I have described both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
show examples
 and
give
Wrong verb form
given
show examples
 my opinion about
Use synonyms
teenagers
Correct word choice
whether teenagers
show examples
 should have
Use synonyms
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
jobs
Use synonyms
 or not.
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