IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#countries #world #people #cities #population #countryside #development
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In some nations, migration from rural
region
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regions
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 toward urban
area
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areas
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 is rising, resulting in a significant decrease
on
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in
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 the population of those places. In my point of view,
this
Linking Words
 movement can have several drawbacks, like a decrease in some rural
products
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, and lack of experts, doctors and generally speaking,
Correct article usage
the disappearing
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disappearing
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disappearance
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 of some carriers
resulted
Wrong verb form
resulting
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 in
over population
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overpopulation
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 in
cities
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. that I will explain in the following essay.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in some
regions
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,regions
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people
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 no longer live in villages
resulted
Wrong verb form
resulting
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 in a decline in
Correct article usage
the
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production of specific agricultural
products
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 like organic vegetables, dairy and meat which are produced without the use of synthetic pesticides.
to
Capitalize word
To
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 illustrate we buy our needs from some local shops which supply their product from rural regions, if
this
Linking Words
 rural-to-urban migration continues, we may not have access to some of these
products
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,
consequently
Linking Words
 some of our needs will
disappeare
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disappear
disappeared
 and we have to
replaced
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replace
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 them with other synthetic ones.
However
Linking Words
, the
disappearing
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disappearance
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 of some organic
products
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 can not be all of its negative points. If the migration toward urban areas speeds up, in villages we can witness
the
Correct article usage
a
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 social decline
due to
Linking Words
 the shortage of specialists in various aspects, like doctors, expert teachers, builders and even hairdressers, so that,
people
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 have to go to
cities
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 for every single needs
such
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 as enrolling their children in school. And
consequently
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, a feeling will arise among
people
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 that they need to migrate to
cities
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 to meet their needs leading to overpopulation in
cities
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 and which can have bad effects on urban quality of life.
To sum up
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, nowadays
people
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 tend to no longer stay in villages and their preference in terms of
chose
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choosing
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 a place to live has changed a lot, and in my
opinion
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,opinion
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this
Linking Words
 movement has some negative aspects like shortage
in
Change preposition
of
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 some organic
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
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 and
over population
Correct your spelling
overpopulation
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 in
cities
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,in my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
,opinion
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 if governments provide amenities and recreational facilities in rural areas
this
Linking Words
 issue can be mitigated.
Submitted by mehrdad.salahi2003 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
What to do next:
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