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Band 4

In some countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#countries #world #people #cities #population #countryside #development
In some nations, migration from rural
region
Fix the agreement mistake
regions
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 toward urban
area
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areas
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 is rising, resulting in a significant decrease
on
Change preposition
in
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 the population of those places. In my point of view,
this
 movement can have several drawbacks, like a decrease in some rural
products
, and lack of experts, doctors and generally speaking,
Correct article usage
the disappearing
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disappearing
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disappearance
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 of some carriers
resulted
Wrong verb form
resulting
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 in
over population
Correct your spelling
overpopulation
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 in
cities
. that I will explain in the following essay.
To begin
 with, in some
regions
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,regions
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people
 no longer live in villages
resulted
Wrong verb form
resulting
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 in a decline in
Correct article usage
the
show examples
production of specific agricultural
products
 like organic vegetables, dairy and meat which are produced without the use of synthetic pesticides.
to
Capitalize word
To
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 illustrate we buy our needs from some local shops which supply their product from rural regions, if
this
 rural-to-urban migration continues, we may not have access to some of these
products
,
consequently
 some of our needs will
disappeare
Correct your spelling
disappear
disappeared
 and we have to
replaced
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replace
show examples
 them with other synthetic ones.
However
, the
disappearing
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disappearance
show examples
 of some organic
products
 can not be all of its negative points. If the migration toward urban areas speeds up, in villages we can witness
the
Correct article usage
a
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 social decline
due to
 the shortage of specialists in various aspects, like doctors, expert teachers, builders and even hairdressers, so that,
people
 have to go to
cities
 for every single needs
such
 as enrolling their children in school. And
consequently
, a feeling will arise among
people
 that they need to migrate to
cities
 to meet their needs leading to overpopulation in
cities
 and which can have bad effects on urban quality of life.
To sum up
, nowadays
people
 tend to no longer stay in villages and their preference in terms of
chose
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choosing
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 a place to live has changed a lot, and in my
opinion
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,opinion
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this
 movement has some negative aspects like shortage
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 some organic
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
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 and
over population
Correct your spelling
overpopulation
show examples
 in
cities
,in my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
,opinion
show examples
 if governments provide amenities and recreational facilities in rural areas
this
 issue can be mitigated.
Submitted by mehrdad.salahi2003 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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