IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Mobile phones and smart devices should be restricted and that young people should not be allowed to have them. Only people of a certain age should have permission to own them. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this proposal? What is your opinion?

#phones #devices #people #age #permission
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Owing to a technological breakthrough, there is a significant amount of rise in the usage of electronic
devices
Use synonyms
 unprecedentedly. Mobile phones and other electronic
devices
Use synonyms
 should be banned for the youngest and there should be an age, which allows no limits to have
such
Linking Words
 stuff. It helps to curb going astray and save time;
nevertheless
Linking Words
, it restricts powerful learning aids from
children
Use synonyms
. I would argue that under parents' ,observation it is better to allow
children
Use synonyms
 to use these
devices
Use synonyms
. Restriction of electronic
devices
Use synonyms
 from young
children
Use synonyms
 brings about many advantages.
Firstly
Linking Words
, many students commit crimes
due to
Linking Words
 addiction to these
devices
Use synonyms
. To be more precise,
children
Use synonyms
, who are under 18 years are more likely to do things as they watch.
For instance
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 recent research, 87% of
children
Use synonyms
 convicts have said that they committed crimes
due to
Linking Words
 the internet.
Secondly
Linking Words
, if students use mobile phones it will waste time,
as well as
Linking Words
 these
children
Use synonyms
 cannot concentrate on their studies.
Hence
Linking Words
, restricting these
devices
Use synonyms
 can mitigate these pressing issues.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, mobile phones and other electronic equipment bestow great learning media.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the internet has a colossal amount of articles and data on the educational field.
This
Linking Words
 information is given to
children
Use synonyms
 to gain a better educational experience.
For example
Linking Words
, the website which is called w3school has provided so many valuable learning tutorials.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 proposal will inflict negative for
children
Use synonyms
 in terms of education. In conclusion, there must be restrictions on the usage of smart
devices
Use synonyms
 for the young generation and there should be an age that can have
such
Linking Words
 things. Prevent to go astray and save time are the merits of
this
Linking Words
.
However
Linking Words
, it avoids having great educational aids. In my opinion, young
children
Use synonyms
 can have these
devices
Use synonyms
 with the eyes of their parents. It is recommended that the government should impose new legislation for internet providers to curb searching unwanted sites by adolescents.
Submitted by nadee.document on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: