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Writing Samples
Band 7

In the near future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?

#future #people #holiday #country #travel
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Spending free
time
Use synonyms
 in general, and undertaking journeys
in particular
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, has always been a topic of numerous debates in recent years. In
this
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 regard, many
people
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 argue that in the future, domestic trips will overcome foreign ones in terms of spending holidays.
However
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, in my opinion,
this
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 point of view is not acceptable for many reasons. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I will support my statement with likely explanations and examples.
To begin
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 with, the fact that human beings will have achieved a high level of knowledge in the near future cannot be denied.
This
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 means that new transportation systems will be developed and big breakthroughs in technology will help the tourism industry to decrease the
time
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 devoted to foreign trips.
As a result
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,
people
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 will have access to more adequate facilities and vehicles
such
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 as high-speed railways and modern aeroplanes with comfortable sitting areas to experience joyful travels to the remote parts of the world. The latest statistics in
this
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 regard demonstrate that the
time
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 devoted to travel by aeroplane will be diminished by about 40% in the next 20 years which will enable individuals to undertake more journeys, particularly to abroad destinations.
In addition
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 to that,
due to
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 the epidemic of social media platforms and the huge influence of international media, the global community is going to be more strong all over the world.
People
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, regardless of age and cultural background will be more communicate with each other.
Therefore
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, the number of foreign trips on a yearly basis will soar substantially.
Furthermore
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, in terms of economics, it should be noted that the tourism industry will bring a host of financial benefits to host countries.
This
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 is
due to
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 the fact that not only does it boost the economy, but
also
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 opens up plenty of job opportunities in local communities which is quite beneficial for governments and individuals at the same
time
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.
Accordingly
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, the states
as well as
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 private enterprises will devote more financial resources to invest in the tourism industry in order to make more profit and enhance their public image on an international stage. Many recent researches in Turkey,
for instance
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, have illustrated that the number of visitors has become three times more in comparison with the numbers in the 1998s.
Moreover
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, an increasing number of travel agencies could be available even in small cities offering
people
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 recreational possibilities to choose from to spend their holidays best. They will offer package tours whose price will include any aspect of the trip
such
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 as accommodation, food , domestic transportation and city insights. Driven by
this
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 level of omnipresence in any society,
people
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 could be easily enticed to book these cost-effective and interesting overseas tours to explore new cultures and pursue their leisure in the most effective way.
To sum up
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,
although
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 no one can exactly predict the future, I firmly believe foreign travel will grow more in popularity
due to
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 its financial benefits in conjunction with great advancements in technology.
Submitted by Pegahghaderi85 on

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coherence and cohesion
Your essay has some good points and examples but the connection between the main points is not always clear. Make sure to link your ideas more effectively and use cohesive devices such as transition words to improve coherence and cohesion.
task response
You have addressed the prompt and presented some relevant ideas and examples. However, some of your points could be further developed to provide a more comprehensive and clear response to the task. Make sure to fully address each aspect of the prompt and support your points with relevant examples and details.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • domestic tourism
  • international travel
  • cultural exchange
  • national pride
  • affordability
  • convenience
  • ecotourism
  • heritage sites
  • local businesses
  • comfort zone
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