IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The rise of convenience foods has helped people keep up with the speed of the modern life style. What are the advantages of this trends? DO the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#rise #convenience #foods #people #life #style #trends
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is argued that fast
food
Use synonyms
 can help people who have limited
time
Use synonyms
 in their daily lives since
this
Linking Words
 type of
food
Use synonyms
 can cook within a few seconds;
however
Linking Words
, others believe
this
Linking Words
 meal has low nutrients, which can cause some diseases
such
Linking Words
 as cancer. In my opinion, I hold the belief that the drawbacks outweigh the benefits because
this
Linking Words
 ailment has harmful symptoms that can kill many humanity in a few years. The rapid preparation
time
Use synonyms
 is the main reason why convenience foods match the modern lifestyle.
For example
Linking Words
, there is a significant increase in the operating
time
Use synonyms
 that employees have to work each day, which means they have to do their activities and come to the office within the
time
Use synonyms
 limit.
As a result
Linking Words
, many have no choice but to eat convenience
food
Use synonyms
, which they can grab and immediately run to the association.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 meal has a drawback to take into consideration, which is their poor diet.
For instance
Linking Words
, the latest research shows the rise of cancer in the US has a similar trend to junk
food
Use synonyms
 consumption; it means these foods not only have low-nutrition quality but
also
Linking Words
 have an amount of gourmet powder that exceeds the standard.
Therefore
Linking Words
, people who usually consume junk
food
Use synonyms
 will suffer from ailments because they have a low diet.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 convenience
food
Use synonyms
 has the benefit of short preparation
time
Use synonyms
, the disadvantage is the diseases that come from these meals. After discussing both sides, I think the cons have more weight because one of my family has
this
Linking Words
 illness, which directly affects her health, and the symptom is unstable.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I do not agree that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by jirawat.sea on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: