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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table show where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed.

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table show where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed.
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The table shows the sources of police
budgets
Use synonyms
 between 2017 and 2018, and the two pie charts give information concerning the spending during
this
Linking Words
 period. One of the first things to note is that the total police
budgets
Use synonyms
 increased by 13.9m from 304.7m to 318.6m. As the table clearly shows, most of the
budgets
Use synonyms
 came from the national government since more than half of the
budgets
Use synonyms
 were accounted for .
In contrast
Linking Words
, local taxes increased by 1.1m
while
Linking Words
 the other sources remained stable at 38m. As the pie chart clearly shows, it is noteworthy that three-quarters of the budget was spent on salaries.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 figure slightly decreased from 75% in 2017 and 69% in 2018.
In contrast
Linking Words
, spending on technology skyrocketed to 14% in 2018.
Lastly
Linking Words
, the spending on buildings and transport remained stable during
this
Linking Words
 period.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 half of the budget was sourced by the national government and three-quarters of the money was spent on police salaries.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words budgets, m with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • budget allocation
  • fiscal year
  • government grants
  • local taxes
  • police force
  • patrol division
  • detective units
  • traffic control
  • administration expenses
  • operational costs
  • capital expenditure
  • revenue streams
  • expenditure distribution
  • financial resources
  • public safety
  • crime prevention
  • budgetary constraints
  • funding shortfall
  • budget surplus
  • financial planning
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