IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

It is important to take risks both their professional lives and personal lives. Do you think advantages of taking risks out weight the disadvantages?

#risks #lives #weight
There is a controversial debate,
whether
Change preposition
about whether
show examples
 accepting
challengers
Correct your spelling
challenges
show examples
 in carriers and
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
 lives is, paramount. In my opinion benefits,
such
 as
being received
Wrong verb form
receiving
show examples
 job promotions and
developed
Correct article usage
a developed
show examples
 personality can be seen, having said that,
being undergone
Wrong verb form
undergoing
show examples
 punishments
as well as
 loss of money are
well known
Add a hyphen
well-known
show examples
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
drawbacks of being risk taking
person
, and
this
 essay will discuss profoundly to justify how the positive impact being superior the negative effects.
To begin
 with, being
courageous
Add an article
the courageous
a courageous
show examples
person
 to do new things, leads to confronting new issues.
However
,
this
 situation would be rewarding to the
person
, who
willing
Add a missing verb
is willing
show examples
engage
Fix the infinitive
to engage
show examples
 with experiments.
For example
, people
are
Correct pronoun usage
who are
show examples
 inclined to gain new experience in
working
Correct article usage
a working
show examples
 environment might be
advancement
Add an article
an advancement
show examples
 to get higher positions if they succeed and being engaged
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
unfamilier
Correct your spelling
unfamiliar
 activities might
uplifted
Change the verb form
uplift
show examples
 their personality as pros of individual benefit.
as
Capitalize word
As
show examples
 a result,
this
 concept would be
huge
Add an article
a huge
show examples
 advantage for
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
.
However
,
although
 taking
Correct article usage
a challenger
show examples
challenger
Replace the word
challenge
show examples
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
 positive
consequence
Fix the agreement mistake
consequences
show examples
, there may be cons as well,
such
 as being obligated
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 activities
at
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the first time in the
work
Replace the word
workplace
show examples
 place
end
Wrong verb form
ending
show examples
 up with penalties
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. Namely, when someone had failed with
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 experiment at
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
his own
her own
show examples
 office might have been
commited
Correct your spelling
committed
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 punishment.
Moreover
, if
person
Add an article
the person
a person
show examples
 was mistaken in his effort, would
left
Change the verb form
leave
show examples
 more money as
disadvantage
Add an article
a disadvantage
show examples
 in his personal life.
Hence
,
this
 phenomenon would be
comprising
Wrong verb form
comprised
show examples
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 threats of adverse effects as well.
To conclude
,
although
 there are negative consequences,
such
 as being penalized and loss of money, there are
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of pros, which are influenced to
thee
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 entire life,
such
 as promotions and build up personality as that.
Therefore
, I suppose the advantages are overshadowed the disadvantages.
Submitted by adpremadasa82 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: