Describe the chart that shows reasons which made people move to capital city
The line graph illustrates the causes which introduced
people
to move to the primary city.
Overall
, it is noticeable that the employment
and study had the highest total of people
who had a reason for moving, while
the adventure had the smallest quantity of population. The figure
for adventure, study and family/friends increased moderately, while
employment
decreased gradually in the final years
.
To begin
with, the figure
for employment
rose moderately from 60,000 in 2000 to 85,000 in 2005
before rising to over 90,000 in 2010. However
, it decreased to 85,000 in the final years
.
The number of people
who study grew from over 20,000 to under 50,000 during the next 5 years
before going up marginally to under 50,000 in 2010. However
, it surged sharply to 85,000 in the final years
and had the highest figure
for the population with the figure
for employment
who moved to the capital city.
With regards to ,family friends maintained the same level before increasing from over 10000 in 2005 to 20,000 in 2010, therefore
it held steady during the next 5 years
.
The figure
for adventure grew gradually from 10,000 to over 10,000 in the final years
and had the lowest number of people
who moved to the capital city in the period of questionSubmitted by dimash171206 on
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, employment, figure, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "move" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "moderately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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