IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the number of houses built per year in two cities, Derby and Nottingham, between 2000 and 2009. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The bar chart below shows the number of houses built per year in two cities, Derby and Nottingham, between 2000 and 2009. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
The bar chart below compares the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of dwellings constructed per
year
Use synonyms
 in
Derby
Use synonyms
 and
Nottingham
Use synonyms
 from 2000 to 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of houses built in
Derby
Use synonyms
 plateaued twice over the time period. The first
plareau
Correct your spelling
plateau
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
 from 2000 to 2001 and the second time kept for five years between 2003 and 2007. One
year
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 later, the quantity of lodgements constructed in
Derby
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 skyrocketed and reached a peak
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2009.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the quantity of housing built in
Nottingham
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flactuated
Correct your spelling
fluctuated
fluctuate
 during the decade.
According to
Linking Words
 the information shown
it
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 the graph, both cities experienced the most productive
year
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at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2009,
which
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of dwellings
constructured
Correct your spelling
constructed
 in
Derby
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 peaked at almost 350 and the amount of that in
Nottingham
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 peaked at 250.
Besides
Linking Words
 the aforementioned, the first plateau happened in
Derby
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 stuck in the
number
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 around 40 and the second one remained in the amount around 110. At the other end of the spectrum, the account of houses built in
Nottingham
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 per
year
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 witnessed a
flactuation
Correct your spelling
fluctuation
 with the lowest
number
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about
Change preposition
of about
show examples
 10 and the highest
number
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 of 250.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 the
number
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 of housing
constructured
Correct your spelling
constructed
 in
Derby
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 exhibited a plateau for two times , it never
decread
Correct your spelling
decreased
decreed
 over the period, whilst the account of that in
Nottingham
Use synonyms
 had a relatively unsteady tendency during the same period.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words year, derby, nottingham, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "plateau" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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