Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatifactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #situation #unsatifactory #job #shortage #money #situations

Nowadays, computer technology

take

Wrong verb form

is taking

show examples

over the world and

this

has

enormous

Correct article usage

an enormous

show examples

influence on every part of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

life. Children tend to give a

preferance

Correct your spelling

preference

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

computer

games

then

the real-life sports.

This

tendency and its influence on the society will be observed in

this

essay. The core reason

Change preposition

for

show examples

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

changes is the complexity and high demands of the sport. Youth tend to play computer

games

because of

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

low requirements for success and it seems to be an easier way of entertainment. More than that,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

regular

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

might seem dull and bleaque

compearing

Correct your spelling

compared

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

video

games

However

, it has its own positive influence. Research from The Sun depicts the positive tendency in the reaction and thinking speed among those who play video

games

In addition

games

have many similarities with a novel, music and any other form of art, which means it could not be compared to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

physical activity since those are completely different things.

None the less

Correct your spelling

Nonetheless

show examples

, people argue that the lack of sports is harmful. It could cause obesity and other health problems.

This

depicts necessity of the physical activity and there are no other alternatives that could replace it. In the end, it could be said that

this

problem needed to be solved as soon as possible. Video

games

are not able to replace a regular sport.

On the other hand

psychological

Correct article usage

the psychological

show examples

development of any child is vital to

gain

Wrong verb form

gaining

show examples

skills that

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

be useful in

Remove the article

apply

show examples

adult life. It means that it is essential to keep a balance and develop all sides of the personality and body.

Submitted by dulskywork on Sun Sep 03 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

266 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Accepting
Bad situation
Unsatisfactory job
Shortage of money
Complacency
Lack of motivation
Improvement
Personal growth
Development
Temporary relief
Long-term dissatisfaction
Effort
Determination
Proactive
Mindset
Appropriate
Changed
Opportunities
Fulfillment
Balancing
Well-being

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Everyone in the world is wearing the same brand and watching the same TV channels and movies. Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?
Every individual in the world is wearing the same clothing brand and enjoying the same TV channels and movies. I think this is a positive development because utilizing the same thing in the world and watching the same brand help to spread solidarity and peace among the people around the world and it is beneficial for the busines of that brand.
5.5
band
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In this modern world, technology has created a big impact on the generation. Some people believe, Nowadays the vast number of young people's population is higher than the old generation people's count. While it is true every topic has its own advantages and disadvantages. In this essay, I will explain the various advantages of the topic and demonstrate why they hold great significance compared to disadvantages.
6
band
Some uniforms have always been a subject of heated debates. Some believe they should be compulsory in all schools.
As the debate over whether school uniforms should be compulsory gets intense, it has become a matter of concern whether people should stick to this traditional way of uniforms or seek alternative solutions. Some people argue that school uniforms promote unity and discipline among students. However, I strongly disagree with this opinion. This essay will discuss why school uniforms should not be compulsory, pointing out their negative effects on students' comfort, quality, expense, and etc.
7
band
In many countries the proportion of older people is increasing. Could this have mroe positive or negative effects on society?
In recent years, it has become much more common for the proportion of older people in many countries to increase. Many people believe that there are significant benefits to this trend, while others argue that there are also drawbacks associated with ageing population. Although there are downsides to this trend, this essay argues that the advantages are stronger.
5
band
The plans below show a traditional and modern two-storey Japanese house. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
The diagrams compare the interior design of a traditional and modern Japanese house.

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatifactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Everyone in the world is wearing the same brand and watching the same TV channels and movies. Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

Some uniforms have always been a subject of heated debates. Some believe they should be compulsory in all schools.

In many countries the proportion of older people is increasing. Could this have mroe positive or negative effects on society?

The plans below show a traditional and modern two-storey Japanese house. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.