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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the favourite takeaways of people in Canada and the number of Indian restaurants in Canada between 1960 and 2015.

The charts below show the favourite takeaways of people in Canada and the number of Indian restaurants in Canada between 1960 and 2015.
#show #favourite #takeaways #people #canada #indian #restaurants
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The pie chart illustrates the percentage of popular takeaways of people,
while
Linking Words
 the bar chart gives information about the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of
Indian
Use synonyms
 restaurants in Canada from 1960 to 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, Chinese and
Indian
Use synonyms
 can be seen most popular takeout kind of
food
Use synonyms
 to Canadians,
while
Linking Words
 the amount of
Indian
Use synonyms
 restaurants
steady
Change the word
steadily
show examples
 rose over the period given.
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Chinese
food
Use synonyms
were
Change the verb form
was
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most
Correct article usage
the most
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 favourite
takeaways
Change the noun form
takeaway
show examples
food
Use synonyms
, with over
third,
Linking Words
and
second
Correct article usage
the second
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 high popular
food
Use synonyms
 was
Indian
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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26%.
However
Linking Words
, The three kinds of takeout
food
Use synonyms
 which are Greek, Japanese and Mexican accounted for
Correct article usage
the remarkable
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remarkable
Change the word
remarkably
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 lowest, at just 1% respectively compared to other
countries
Change noun form
countries'
country's
show examples
food
Use synonyms
. The number of
Indian
Use synonyms
 restaurants started lowest
around
Change preposition
at around
show examples
 500 in 1960, and
steady
Change the word
steadily
show examples
 rose until 1970. In 1997,
India
Replace the word
Indian
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 was getting popular significantly to 7900 and
then
Linking Words
rough
Change the word
roughly
show examples
 increased by 2100 in 2009. Next two years, the number of
India
Replace the word
Indian
show examples
food
Use synonyms
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
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 decreased slightly, but kept the business
about
Change preposition
at about
show examples
 9000, In 2015.
Submitted by lssbb3393 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words indian, food with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • charts
  • favourite takeaways
  • people in Canada
  • number of Indian restaurants
  • 1960
  • 2015
  • types of takeaways
  • popular
  • 55 years
  • country
  • time frame
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