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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the favourite takeaways of people in Canada and the number of Indian restaurants in Canada between 1960 and 2015.

The charts below show the favourite takeaways of people in Canada and the number of Indian restaurants in Canada between 1960 and 2015.
#show #favourite #takeaways #people #canada #indian #restaurants
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The pie chart illustrates the percentage of popular takeaways of people,
while
 the bar chart gives information about the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of
Indian
 restaurants in Canada from 1960 to 2015.
Overall
, Chinese and
Indian
 can be seen most popular takeout kind of
food
 to Canadians,
while
 the amount of
Indian
 restaurants
steady
Change the word
steadily
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 rose over the period given.
The
Correct article usage
apply
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Chinese
food
were
Change the verb form
was
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most
Correct article usage
the most
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 favourite
takeaways
Change the noun form
takeaway
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food
, with over
third,
and
second
Correct article usage
the second
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 high popular
food
 was
Indian
food
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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26%.
However
, The three kinds of takeout
food
 which are Greek, Japanese and Mexican accounted for
Correct article usage
the remarkable
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remarkable
Change the word
remarkably
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 lowest, at just 1% respectively compared to other
countries
Change noun form
countries'
country's
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food
. The number of
Indian
 restaurants started lowest
around
Change preposition
at around
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 500 in 1960, and
steady
Change the word
steadily
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 rose until 1970. In 1997,
India
Replace the word
Indian
show examples
food
 was getting popular significantly to 7900 and
then
rough
Change the word
roughly
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 increased by 2100 in 2009. Next two years, the number of
India
Replace the word
Indian
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food
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
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 decreased slightly, but kept the business
about
Change preposition
at about
show examples
 9000, In 2015.
Submitted by lssbb3393 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words indian, food with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • charts
  • favourite takeaways
  • people in Canada
  • number of Indian restaurants
  • 1960
  • 2015
  • types of takeaways
  • popular
  • 55 years
  • country
  • time frame
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