Nowadays, the way people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the type of relationship people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?
With
advent
of technology, Add an article
the advent
people
are being changed
their relationships with others and Wrong verb form
changing
this
incident illustrates
precisely by Wrong verb form
is illustrated
loss
of connection between parents and children Correct article usage
the loss
due to
the
video games, Correct article usage
apply
as well as
social isolation rely
on social media usage, which Wrong verb form
relying
are
made tremendous effect on Verb problem
has
community
.
To commence with, being changed Add an article
the community
of
the interaction among individuals has Change preposition
in
adverse
impact Add an article
an adverse
to
Change preposition
on
the
society. Correct article usage
apply
Firstly
, loss of inter- personal
Correct your spelling
inter-personal
relationship
between parents and children. Cumulative utilization of electronic devices for video games Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
for
Change preposition
in
long
run Correct article usage
the long
make
teenagers apart from family bonding, which leads to Change the verb form
makes
discourage
Change the verb form
discouraging
Correct pronoun usage
them to
to learn
, Change preposition
from learning
as well as
disrespect to their parents. Secondly
, addiction to social media constantly make
Change the verb form
makes
people
avoid from
each other and Change preposition
apply
stay
Verb problem
get
stick
with smartphones or computers to communicate or to entertain without paying Wrong verb form
stuck
their
attention to the vicinity. Correct pronoun usage
apply
Consequently
, this
development has been
affected Unnecessary verb
apply
on
Change preposition
apply
their
various connections in their life.
Change the word
the
Furthermore
, being impact
often in Wrong verb form
impacted
this
way brings more drawbacks to the
personal lives, Correct article usage
apply
such
as descreasing
interaction with juveniles Correct your spelling
decreasing
of
their adults would be Change preposition
apply
high
risk Change preposition
at high
on
substance abuse because of loss of attention with their guardience might bring them more freedom to the kids allowing them to practice bad habits. Change preposition
of
Moreover
, being weked
social connection Correct your spelling
worked
make
pole avoid Change the verb form
makes
from
social responsibilities, Change preposition
apply
such
as engaging charity
Change preposition
in charity
works
, which is essential to community Fix the agreement mistake
work
existance
. Correct your spelling
existence
For instance
, people
in most developed countries tend to live individually as nuclear families without conducting any bond with others. Therefore
, this
evolution has brought many disadvantages to the people
and community.
To conclude
according to
the above clarification, evolved innovations are influenced
Wrong verb form
influence
to
Change preposition
apply
the
personal lives to deterorate bond with children and among Correct article usage
apply
public
Correct article usage
the public
and
Correct word choice
apply
further
, being lost
of Replace the word
loss
this
relationships lead teen to addict drugs and Correct determiner usage
these
people
apart from social responsibilities, which are demonstrated
Wrong verb form
demonstrates
negative
impact.Correct article usage
a negative
Submitted by adpremadasa82 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!