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Band 5.5

some people say that the clothes people wear are the most indication of what they are like. Other, however, say that people should not be judged by the clothes they wear. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

#people #clothes #indication
Several
people
 argue that the
clothes
 you wear determine who you are,
while
 a number of
people
 think that the
clothes
people
 wear cannot make the determination of somebody's appearance.
However
,
clothes
, occupations and personalities have a correlation. The explanation will be explained in the next paragraph. Many
people
 believe that
clothes
 show what your
job
 is
,
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 because uniforms have important roles in the
job
 field. A clear example is firefighters, they need to cover themselves with their uniforms to protect their bodies from the fire. Another one is a banker, whose uniform shows their credibility in work and
also
 guides more customers.
Moreover
, garments can
also
 show someone's personality,
for example
, an introvert tends to choose black or dark colours when they
dress
,
in contrast
, charming
people
 like to
dress
 in colourful or bright clothing and are well-groomed. It is common knowledge that we cannot judge a book by its cover, in
this
 ,case we cannot appraise somebody by its appearance
,
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 because they have their own reasons for every
dress
.
For instance
, the police are undercovered to look for information. Additional information is that many activists like to have long hair and unwell
dress
 to look ridiculous, but the fact is that they know a lot of information and are overwhelmed by knowledge. All in all, I think that the
dress
 we wear is connected with either our
job
 or our personality.
People
 will know who you are When you wear your
job
 uniform, and colour choices
also
 will determine your personality.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion need to be more clearly developed and should properly introduce and conclude the topic.
task achievement
The response needs to be more complete and relevant examples need to be more specific.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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