IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

some people say that the clothes people wear are the most indication of what they are like. Other, however, say that people should not be judged by the clothes they wear. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

#people #clothes #indication
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Several
people
Use synonyms
 argue that the
clothes
Use synonyms
 you wear determine who you are,
while
Linking Words
 a number of
people
Use synonyms
 think that the
clothes
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 wear cannot make the determination of somebody's appearance.
However
Linking Words
,
clothes
Use synonyms
, occupations and personalities have a correlation. The explanation will be explained in the next paragraph. Many
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
clothes
Use synonyms
 show what your
job
Use synonyms
 is
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because uniforms have important roles in the
job
Use synonyms
 field. A clear example is firefighters, they need to cover themselves with their uniforms to protect their bodies from the fire. Another one is a banker, whose uniform shows their credibility in work and
also
Linking Words
 guides more customers.
Moreover
Linking Words
, garments can
also
Linking Words
 show someone's personality,
for example
Linking Words
, an introvert tends to choose black or dark colours when they
dress
Use synonyms
,
in contrast
Linking Words
, charming
people
Use synonyms
 like to
dress
Use synonyms
 in colourful or bright clothing and are well-groomed. It is common knowledge that we cannot judge a book by its cover, in
this
Linking Words
 ,case we cannot appraise somebody by its appearance
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because they have their own reasons for every
dress
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, the police are undercovered to look for information. Additional information is that many activists like to have long hair and unwell
dress
Use synonyms
 to look ridiculous, but the fact is that they know a lot of information and are overwhelmed by knowledge. All in all, I think that the
dress
Use synonyms
 we wear is connected with either our
job
Use synonyms
 or our personality.
People
Use synonyms
 will know who you are When you wear your
job
Use synonyms
 uniform, and colour choices
also
Linking Words
 will determine your personality.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion need to be more clearly developed and should properly introduce and conclude the topic.
task achievement
The response needs to be more complete and relevant examples need to be more specific.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: