Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people a better education. Do you agree or disagree?

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Many government bodies used prison
punishment
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to reduce the criminal rate.
Whereas
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, some people argue that providing proper knowledge about humanity is the best option to tackle
this
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issue. I totally agree, and my view will be explained in
this
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essay. First and foremost, education is known as a key of life and one can be better after using it properly. Literacy teaches anyone how to be a good member of civilization. To elaborate, after the proper guidance person is able to differentiate between right and wrong, what is good, and ad for him and his society as well.
For example
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, based on research done by the sociology department of the Vietnamese Institute of Sociology, says that poor people are attempting more crime.
This
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is
due to
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needy folks do not have enough money to support their family and children's education.
Thus
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, I believe by giving some basic education to them, they can be able to achieve something good for themselves and their family as well.
Furthermore
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, prison is the best
punishment
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to give an offender for major crimes like smuggling, abduction, and so on. Yet
this
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just gives them
punishment
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instead
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of changing their behaviour.
For instance
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, a man has been imprisoned for 2 years because of the crime of theft.
After
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this
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when he came out, again he attempted to do it because still he had the same attitude and character as he had before.
This
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is why
this
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idea of
punishment
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is unreliable
according to
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me. In conclusion, it is true that for some major crimes, it should be compulsory to allow prison, but it is
also
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important to ensure that the offender stops attempting offences by educating them during the
punishment
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period.
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task response
The introduction needs to present a clear opinion on the issue and the essay should be structured to address the specific instructions of agreeing or disagreeing with the given statement. The conclusion should also restate the opinion and summarize the main points.
coherence and cohesion
The writer should organize the essay coherently with a clear introduction, body paragraphs supporting the opinion, and a conclusion restating the opinion and summarizing the main points. Some ideas need to be linked more clearly to improve the overall cohesion.
lexical resource
There is a range of vocabulary used, but some choices could be more precise or appropriate. It is also important to demonstrate a good understanding and appropriate use of collocations and idiomatic language related to the topic.
grammatical range
The writer demonstrates a basic control of a variety of complex structures, but there are some errors in sentence structure, use of articles, prepositions, and verb forms. More variety in sentence structures is needed to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical structures and to minimize errors.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • tackles root causes
  • preventative approach
  • critical thinking
  • decision-making skills
  • recidivism rates
  • equipping
  • socio-economic benefits
  • underlying factors
  • poverty
  • ignorance
  • lack of opportunities
  • rehabilitation
  • ineffective
  • higher rates of re-offending
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