Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people a better education. Do you agree or disagree?

#prison #countries #crime #people #education

Many government bodies used prison

punishment

to reduce the criminal rate.

Whereas

, some people argue that providing proper knowledge about humanity is the best option to tackle

this

issue. I totally agree, and my view will be explained in

this

essay. First and foremost, education is known as a key of life and one can be better after using it properly. Literacy teaches anyone how to be a good member of civilization. To elaborate, after the proper guidance person is able to differentiate between right and wrong, what is good, and ad for him and his society as well.

For example

, based on research done by the sociology department of the Vietnamese Institute of Sociology, says that poor people are attempting more crime.

This

due to

needy folks do not have enough money to support their family and children's education.

Thus

, I believe by giving some basic education to them, they can be able to achieve something good for themselves and their family as well.

Furthermore

, prison is the best

punishment

to give an offender for major crimes like smuggling, abduction, and so on. Yet

this

just gives them

punishment

instead

of changing their behaviour.

For instance

, a man has been imprisoned for 2 years because of the crime of theft.

After

this

when he came out, again he attempted to do it because still he had the same attitude and character as he had before.

This

is why

this

idea of

punishment

is unreliable

according to

me. In conclusion, it is true that for some major crimes, it should be compulsory to allow prison, but it is

also

important to ensure that the offender stops attempting offences by educating them during the

punishment

period.

Submitted by duckiedesigner on Mon Sep 04 2023

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task response

The introduction needs to present a clear opinion on the issue and the essay should be structured to address the specific instructions of agreeing or disagreeing with the given statement. The conclusion should also restate the opinion and summarize the main points.

coherence and cohesion

The writer should organize the essay coherently with a clear introduction, body paragraphs supporting the opinion, and a conclusion restating the opinion and summarizing the main points. Some ideas need to be linked more clearly to improve the overall cohesion.

lexical resource

There is a range of vocabulary used, but some choices could be more precise or appropriate. It is also important to demonstrate a good understanding and appropriate use of collocations and idiomatic language related to the topic.

grammatical range

The writer demonstrates a basic control of a variety of complex structures, but there are some errors in sentence structure, use of articles, prepositions, and verb forms. More variety in sentence structures is needed to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical structures and to minimize errors.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

286 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people a better education. Do you agree or disagree?

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Some people think that spending a lot on holding weddings, birthday parties and other celebrations is just a waste of money. Others, however think that these are necessary for individuals and the society. Discuss both views.