IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everything matters is likely to result in a society of individual who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

#people #children #choices #matters #society #decisions
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Computers
Use synonyms
 are becoming an essential part of
education
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. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your own opinion.
Linking Words
This
Correct determiner usage
These
show examples
 days
computers
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 have become popular in almost every sphere of life, even in
education
Use synonyms
. But some
people
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 still think that handwriting and reading paper books is more effective. I disagree with them for
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 reasons.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
computers
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 provide access to the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
, where anybody can find information for their study.
Moreover
Linking Words
, students from different
countris
Correct your spelling
countries
 or disabled persons have
ability
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the ability
show examples
 to study in universities over the world. The internet connects teachers and students, it has a lot of scientific and educational books, articles and movies.
Secondly
Linking Words
, for some
scientistsof
Correct your spelling
scientists of
scientists
 engineers,
such
Linking Words
 as software or physics,
computer
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the computer
show examples
 is a tool to produce their research and make new inventions.
Lets
Replace the word
Let's
Let us
show examples
 turn to another side of the argument, some old-style teachers reckon that spending time in the library, searching for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information and traditional ways of studying is better. They think that
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
compex
Correct your spelling
complex
 way to
acqure
Correct your spelling
acquire
 knowledge gives better memorization.
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
,
computers
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 affect
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
your health, sitting in front of the computer screen can spoil
vision
Correct pronoun usage
your vision
show examples
 or spine.
Also
Linking Words
, digital devices can invoke addiction to online games or series. Sometimes it is too hard to avoid procrastination
,
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apply
show examples
 if you have so much interesting things online. Digital corporations offer plenty of methods to attract attention and force
people
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 to spend time
in
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on
show examples
 useless website scrolling.
Dispite
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Despite
 all these disadvantages,
people
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continue
Add the particle
tocontinue
show examples
 use
computers
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 to acquire new knowledge and I think it is the future of
education
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.
New
Add an article
A new
The new
show examples
 generation of
people
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, who was born with
computer
Correct article usage
a computer
show examples
 or smartphone in their hand, became adult not so long ago, and I hope they will show us all
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 of new-age
education
Use synonyms
.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Child autonomy
  • Critical thinking
  • Self-confidence
  • Immediate gratification
  • Long-term benefits
  • Guidance
  • Informed choices
  • Boundaries
  • Responsibility
  • Individuality
  • Empathetic citizens
  • Consequences
  • Decision-making
What to do next:
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