IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 9

Some think that climate change reforms will negatively affect business. Others feel they are an opportunity for businesses. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

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In recent years, climatic change has been a subject of ongoing debate, with a number of individuals believing that it has harmful effects on business,
while
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 others advocate for its potential benefits. From my perspective, global warming can be beneficial for manufacturers who can seize the chance. On the one hand, climate variation can actually offer a couple of demerits to several businesses, especially in the agricultural sector. In fact, severe weather conditions pose a serious threat to the cultivation, leading to crop failures which worsen the rural economy.
Furthermore
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, restrictions related to environmental changes may close some factories. It can be obviously noticed that the government may implement some limitations on companies that operate on the use of fossil fuels and the production of non-biodegradable items. In light of temperature issues, these businesses may be forced to down or innovate their manufacturing methods in order to alleviate
this
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 problem. No doubt, these scenarios are detrimental to numerous companies.
On the contrary
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, the changing temperature may be an opportunity for optimal growth. Regardless of how to adverse impact on enterprises, there are still a number of ever-increasing revenues .
This
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 is predicated on an account of mitigating climate replacement, it may be an opportune moment for organizations to invest in climate-smart products and services
such
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 as eco-friendly foods, cars, alternative energy, and fashion. . which is highly advisable for inhabitants to change consumer habits.
For instance
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, Nat West has launched green mortgage and remortgage products that offer customers a lower interest rate if they purchase, port, or remortgage an energy-efficient property. As of end-2021, the bank had sold £728 million (USD$965 million) worth of green mortgages. In conclusion, there is no denying that the transformation of climate can be poor for the trade.
However
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, in my opinion, it may be lucrative for commerce if chances are appropriately utilized

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Structure
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea followed by examples or explanations to support it. This will make your argument stronger and more convincing.
Grammar
Consider varying your sentence structures more to demonstrate a wide range of grammatical constructions. This will make your essay even more engaging and polished.
Vocabulary
Avoid repetition of phrases and try to use synonyms or rephrase your sentences. This enhances the readability and sophistication of your essay.
Task Achievement
The essay effectively discusses both views on the impact of climate change on businesses before stating the writer's own opinion, demonstrating a complete and well-structured response.
Coherence & Cohesion
The logical progression of ideas from paragraph to paragraph makes the essay easy to follow, showing strong coherence and cohesion.
Task Achievement
The use of specific examples, such as Nat West's green mortgages, adds credibility and depth to your arguments, effectively supporting your main points.
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