The pie charts below show the percentage of five types of food sold by a supermarket in 2003 and 2013. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The pie charts display various proportions change among five kinds of food which were sold by a supermarket between 2003 and 2013. It can be easily seen that vegetables and eggs in sale volumes had different downward trends from 2003 to 2013. Eggs showed the most declining trend in the given period. It took up 20% in 2003, decreasing by 6% in 2013.

While

vegetables occupied the biggest portion in both years.

Besides

it was 25% in the initial years, and

then

it slightly dropped to 23%.

By contrast

, the other three sale volumes of food illustrated various upward tendencies. The meat was the highest percentage (21%) in 2003，which increased to a quarter of the pie chart in 2013.

Besides

seafood accounted for the percentage of nineteen in 2003, rising up to 21%.

Last

, fruits had a slight increase, with 2%.

To conclude

, it can be noted that vegetables and eggs had a variety of declining trends,

while

meat, seafood as well and fruits offered different inclining trends.

Submitted by mashuhan55 on Mon Sep 04 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "besides, while".

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 4 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

168 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The pie charts below show the percentage of five types of food sold by a supermarket in 2003 and 2013. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advatnages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

In many cities, an increasing number of people do not know their neighbors and the sense of community is lost. Discuss the causes and give measures to turn it around.

Some peoole think that cities are the best place to live. Others prefer to live in countryside. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

(QG) In some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?