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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?

#future #people #holiday #country #travel
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At the present time, going on
holiday
Use synonyms
 has become an important part of
people
Use synonyms
’s lives.
While
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 think the advantages of going on
holiday
Use synonyms
 in your own
country
Use synonyms
 exist, other
people
Use synonyms
 think travelling abroad is useful. From my point of view, I think both perspectives are valid, for the reasons discussed below. On the one hand, as far as going on
holiday
Use synonyms
 in your own
country
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 is concerned,
firstly
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, to a large extent, especially in modern times, no matter where in the world you live, you should know your
country
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 before travelling overseas,
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that it is a part of your history, resulting in discovering the main historic monuments.
In addition
Linking Words
, and most importantly for me, all through your life, you should support the local economy, leading to the fact that you should develop and help your community.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are reasons that travelling abroad during your holidays has many advantages. First and foremost, by and large, all over the world, you can discover a new culture by visiting or talking with local
people
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in general, when you travel overseas, you can be more open-minded because you are not living in your personal comfort zone, resulting in being integrated into the new
country
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.
For example
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, when you are travelling in Asia, you might discover the food, and the temple and talk with local
people
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 about their history. In conclusion,
while
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 some
people
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 think that going on
holiday
Use synonyms
 in your own
country
Use synonyms
 has many advantages, others say that travelling abroad is better.
However
Linking Words
, from my point of view, both perspectives have value for the reasons discussed above.
Submitted by tony.vantroo on

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task response
Ensure that you address the prompt directly and provide a clear stance on the issue.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented. However, improve the use of linking words to enhance coherence.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • domestic tourism
  • international travel
  • cultural exchange
  • national pride
  • affordability
  • convenience
  • ecotourism
  • heritage sites
  • local businesses
  • comfort zone
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