IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?

#future #people #holiday #country #travel
At the present time, going on
holiday
 has become an important part of
people
’s lives.
While
 some
people
 think the advantages of going on
holiday
 in your own
country
 exist, other
people
 think travelling abroad is useful. From my point of view, I think both perspectives are valid, for the reasons discussed below. On the one hand, as far as going on
holiday
 in your own
country
 is concerned,
firstly
, to a large extent, especially in modern times, no matter where in the world you live, you should know your
country
 before travelling overseas,
due to
 the fact that it is a part of your history, resulting in discovering the main historic monuments.
In addition
, and most importantly for me, all through your life, you should support the local economy, leading to the fact that you should develop and help your community.
On the other hand
, there are reasons that travelling abroad during your holidays has many advantages. First and foremost, by and large, all over the world, you can discover a new culture by visiting or talking with local
people
.
Secondly
, in general, when you travel overseas, you can be more open-minded because you are not living in your personal comfort zone, resulting in being integrated into the new
country
.
For example
, when you are travelling in Asia, you might discover the food, and the temple and talk with local
people
 about their history. In conclusion,
while
 some
people
 think that going on
holiday
 in your own
country
 has many advantages, others say that travelling abroad is better.
However
, from my point of view, both perspectives have value for the reasons discussed above.
Submitted by tony.vantroo on

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task response
Ensure that you address the prompt directly and provide a clear stance on the issue.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented. However, improve the use of linking words to enhance coherence.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • domestic tourism
  • international travel
  • cultural exchange
  • national pride
  • affordability
  • convenience
  • ecotourism
  • heritage sites
  • local businesses
  • comfort zone
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