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Band 5

Many feel that going to the gym is the best way to stay fit. Others think there are more effective methods. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#gym #methods
Some individuals believe that attending a place
has
Correct pronoun usage
that has
show examples
 muscular facilities is the best route to keep fit. Others assume there are more useful
mode
Fix the agreement mistake
modes
show examples
.
This
 writer’s opinion is the latter idea is the best choice and will outline the reasons why in
this
 essay. First of all,
people
 have a lot of actions to reduce the calories in their
body
such
 as cycling, jumping and
do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
 cardio.
Therefore
, they just
need
Add the particle
toneed
show examples
 spend time
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
 or playing sports to improve their health and burn
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
 of
lipid
Fix the agreement mistake
lipids
show examples
.
Although
 they do not go to the
gym
, they
also
 can control the calories in their
body
.
In addition
, eating healthy food is crucial and essential to stay fit.
People
 need to keep away from junk food and products
contain
Correct pronoun usage
that contain
show examples
 any amount of
lipid
Fix the agreement mistake
lipids
show examples
 and carbohydrates.
However
,
people
 must remain
patiently
Change the word
patient
show examples
. Some
people
 can give up
initially
. It is vital to practice steadily.
On the other hand
, going to the
gym
also
 has some advantages.
People
 can utilize equipment to improve their
muscle
Fix the agreement mistake
muscles
show examples
. It helps
people
 stay fit and increase
size
Add an article
the size
show examples
 of
muscle
Fix the agreement mistake
muscles
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
body
Add an article
the body
show examples
.
Especially
Rephrase
apply
show examples
,
most
Capitalize word
Most
show examples
 of the man always go to the
gym
 to
make better
Verb problem
improve
show examples
 their health and
body
.
Furthermore
,
people
 can employ a coach to assist them. It is crucial for new
people
start
Fix the infinitive
to start
show examples
 to go to the
gym
. They need to be guided and managed carefully to avoid pain.
Nevertheless
,
people
 must pay a lot of money for their coach.
Moreover
,
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
gym
 is very heavy and has a difficult eating method. In my opinion,
people
 can do different activities to keep fit or eat healthy food. They do not compulsory to spend time
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
going to the
gym
. They just
need
Add the particle
toneed
show examples
 do cardio regularly and they can have
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
body
 which they want
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. In conclusion, there are more actions to stay fit and
people
 do not need to go to the
gym
. They
also
 consider
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their time and
finance
Fix the agreement mistake
finances
show examples
.
Therefore
, I think that the latter idea is the best option.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical well-being
  • prime option
  • structured exercise routines
  • professional equipment
  • fostering an environment
  • motivation and discipline
  • counter-argument
  • outdoor activities
  • home workouts
  • cost-effectiveness
  • social and emotional satisfaction
  • team sports
  • hybrid approach
  • holistic approach
  • comprehensive benefits
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