IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many feels that going to the gym is the best way to stay fit. Others think that there are more effective methods. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#gym #methods
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Whether or not, going to
fitness
Use synonyms
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 or using other ways to keep your body in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good shape and healthy is a highly debatable point. I contend that there are more ways to be fit
both
Change preposition
in both
show examples
 shape and
health
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
 that are better than going to
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 which
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
 you to gain
fitness
Use synonyms
 because it gives schedule flexibility and
save
Correct subject-verb agreement
saves
show examples
 money, despite those who assume that going to these
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 more beneficial
due to
Linking Words
 scientific training. It is self-evident that the timeframe of self-training by other approaches apart from going to the
gym
Use synonyms
 offers more flexibility in
time
Use synonyms
 management. To clarify
this
Linking Words
 point, the timeframe of the
gym
Use synonyms
 is always set at a certain
time
Use synonyms
 which depends on the open hours of the
facility
Use synonyms
. Those who are busy can not go to the training
facility
Use synonyms
 because their schedules are filled with work
at
Change preposition
during
show examples
 their
exercising
Replace the word
exercise
show examples
time
Use synonyms
, resulting in missed exercise classes and unscientific training.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who train by themselves have likely more
time
Use synonyms
 to do so, since they can adjust the
time
Use synonyms
 they
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
exercise in the day to balance with the
time
Use synonyms
 they work.
Therefore
Linking Words
, self-training offers a more effective way to stay fit because of flexible
time
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the majority of
people
Use synonyms
argued
Wrong verb form
argue
show examples
 that going to
fitness
Use synonyms
 facilities is more beneficial. The
gym
Use synonyms
 is always
employed
Verb problem
equipped
show examples
 with professional coaches who can support
effectively
Correct pronoun usage
you effectively
show examples
 and
fully
Add a missing verb
are fully
show examples
 equipped with
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
,
hence
Linking Words
 providing
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more efficient
exercising
Replace the word
exercise
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 is a credible point, but as
people
Use synonyms
 have too much work that
stop
Change the verb form
stops
show examples
 them from going to the
gym
Use synonyms
 at certain open hours, they can not have proper coaches.
As a result
Linking Words
, it often leads to unexpected results of exercising. The writer’s opinion agrees that
people
Use synonyms
 should stay fit by themselves rather than relying on coaches at the
facility
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 since it saves money.
This
Linking Words
 is an undeniable fact
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 since we have to pay for our expenses just to train at a
facility
Use synonyms
 with professional methods which we can learn freely from the internet at home. There are exercises that
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
 not require you to have devices to train so it is a waste of money to stay fit by approaches that can be done at home. In conclusion, self-training can benefit you both
time
Use synonyms
 and
finance
Fix the agreement mistake
finances
show examples
.
Hence
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who want to gain
fitness
Use synonyms
 should consider training
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their own rather than depending on
fitness
Use synonyms
 facilities.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical well-being
  • prime option
  • structured exercise routines
  • professional equipment
  • fostering an environment
  • motivation and discipline
  • counter-argument
  • outdoor activities
  • home workouts
  • cost-effectiveness
  • social and emotional satisfaction
  • team sports
  • hybrid approach
  • holistic approach
  • comprehensive benefits
What to do next:
Look at other essays: