IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Universities should take the same number of men and women in each major. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#universities #men #women
Nowadays, education has become an egalitarian environment, in which everyone has the same rights and the same opportunities, notably the university. The academy is one of the options for
students
 after graduating from high school, who want to study a higher education program. It is a place to enhance knowledge and skills for undergraduates to work in the future and research in scientific fields. Nowadays, people debate about balancing the number of men and women in each major. In my opinion, I strongly believe that admission should be based on the knowledge and interests of
students
 rather than
gender
.
Students
’ test scores should become one of the essential criteria for admission to
universities
. Educational institutions should enrol
students
 with grades from high to low to ensure the quality of output
as well as
 input. If
universities
 balance
gender
 in
majors
, it could lead to a competency gap because ,with the same mark, male
students
 can pass
while
 female
students
 cannot and vice versa.
For instance
, many
majors
 at the top academy in Vietnam
such
 as medicine and pedagogy often get very high scores to ensure that the
students
 after graduation can do well in their jobs
such
 as healing or teaching. So, marks should become the criteria of
universities
 rather than
gender
 balance in
majors
.
On the other hand
,
universities
 must consider
students
’ preferences for
majors
. Because personality and health differences vary between sexes, male and female
students
 often have different occupations.
For instance
, women often choose nursing
while
 men choose to be engineers.
Therefore
,
gender
 quality in several domains is implausible. Inclusion
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and
gender
 balance are important, but in the education environment, educational institutions should select candidates by testing their knowledge and passion. I think in educational institutions, quality is still more important than quantity.
Submitted by aesacademyforenglishstudy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: